


Perfect Plan

by GreyLiliy



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Being Lost, Gen, Humor, Randomness, Yami Bakura has his own body, Yami Yuugi | Atem has his own body
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-26
Updated: 2007-10-14
Packaged: 2019-06-21 21:31:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15566739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyLiliy/pseuds/GreyLiliy
Summary: Kaiba had it all planned out. It was perfect. They would have never known what hit them. The problem is that Kaiba just doesn’t pay much attention to Murphy’s Law.





	1. Murphy's Law

**Author's Note:**

> First posted on my Fanfiction.net account on August 26, 2005 and while I don’t know the dates of everything in between, it was finished with Chapter 12 on October 14, 2007. Crossposted to Archive of Our Own on August 4, 2018. Original Author’s notes have been kept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All you need to know is this is very random, and somewhat in character. It's hard to write humor and keep everyone in character completely, right? To be updated at random intervals depending on my own interest and how much readers want to know what happens. Until then, I hope it amuses you all at the very least.

His plan was flawless.

Or so he thought anyway. Kaiba stared at the burning wreckage that was his beautiful silver jet only an hour or so earlier. The crash had been better than expected when the nose spilled into the sand beneath it. Nobody was hurt, the plane was mostly intact, and systems seemed to be running normally. Ironic, as soon as everyone had gotten off the plane to inspect their surroundings, was when the small fire that had developed in the cargo bay undetected decided it would like to have a party with the fuel tanks.

Standing outside the wreckage Kaiba took the situation into consideration. He was stuck in the desert with a burning piece of metal and seven people that he hated. Yugi, Yami, the Mutt, the Mutt's friend, Téa, Ryou Bakura and that other psycho Bakura were all there talking amongst themselves. They were all so happy no one was hurt and were talking about ways to get out of the situation. Kaiba wondered how things could have come down to this pathetic scene to begin with.

He wondered where his genius plan could have gone so wrong. It was a brief contemplation, however, as he turned his attention to the white haired freak that had decided to interfere with his perfection. He was to blame. That psychotic crazy haired freak was the blame for his perfect plans being ruined. Oh the things Kaiba was going to do to that psycho, his favorite idea involved needles and one of the nursery videos from his daycare.

Said white haired freak of a thief was currently being chewed out by his once meeker looking twin. That Ryou kid could be scary when he wanted to be. Kaiba decided he'd let the Ryou kid have his fun first before strangling the thief himself. Kaiba settled down in the sand to listen. Someone was going to pay for this and he had thirty-five ideas and counting to make who ever it was miserable for a very long time.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Ryou shouted at his counterpart.

"I was thinking that I was doing you all a favor." The once dead spirit spat out through a scowl.

"By destroying the cockpit with a pry bar?" Ryou asked baffled. "You call that a favor!"

"Yes!" Bakura huffed. "Kaiba was going to kill us all by crashing the plane anyway, so I did you the favor of making sure he came down with us!"

"How the hell did you know?" Kaiba roared coming quickly to his feet and pointing at the thief.

"Ha! I told you he had a plan to kill us!" Bakura declared smugly while smartly thumping Ryou on the back of the head. "That's why I also threw his jet pack out the window."

Kaiba twitched. So that's where the thing got off to, now he had two reasons to kill the thief slowly. Not that he needed another reason to rid these vermin from his life.

Yugi and the others decided to get in on the commotion. "What is he talking about Kaiba?"

"Nothing, absolutely nothing. The man's crazy." Kaiba retorted regaining his notable icy composure.

"Crazy? You're just pissed I figured it all out." Bakura stated back.

"Don't be absurd." Kaiba twitched and shifted his eyes to the side.

"How did you figure it out?" Tristan asked.

"It was quite easy, to tell you the truth." Bakura began. "Only one such as I could have possibly saved you all."

"You tried to kill us all, Bakura." Ryou declared.

"Shut up, landlord!" Bakura shouted pulling Ryou into a headlock next to his waist with one arm. "I told you I was taking him down with us!"

"Just tell us already and let me go!" Ryou shouted clawing furiously at Bakura's forearm. Bakura started to thump Ryou on the head with his free hand when Ryou tried biting.

"Fine then." Bakura started again for the most part totally oblivious to Ryou's struggles. "For starters it was suspicious that Kaiba would invite seven people that he hated on a trip to Egypt to see an old site for a magic he doesn't believe in."

Kaiba turned his head away from the group and huffed. He worked so hard to come up with an idea they'd all fall for.

"Secondly," Bakura continued, "He didn't bring Mokuba with us. He only leaves Mokuba at home when he knows that something is going to go wrong because Mokuba can talk his way into going anywhere otherwise."

The others in the group were starting to feel rather dumb, because the thief was making a lot of sense all of a sudden. Ryou continued to gnaw at Bakura's arm and was rewarded with a knuckle rub to the crown of his head. The others leaned in to listen when Bakura looked as if he would continue.

"Thirdly," Bakura paused for effect. "He had a jet pack behind the cockpit and the auto pilot was reading something about a collision course with the ground."

Kaiba was in shock. "How could I be so stupid?" He smacked his forehead with his hand. "How on earth could I have left the jet pack in sight."

"You didn't," Bakura said casually finally allowing Ryou his freedom. He smirked when Ryou's rear smacked into the ground and he held his head. "I snuck through all your stuff after the plane took off and you were in the back to see if everyone was on board."

"You bastard." Kaiba looked ready to lunge.

"No, me thief." He tensed a little in preparation, Kaiba could bring it. Bakura could take him. "It's my job to sneak through stuff. You didn't bring much in the way of stealing by the way. Not what I'd expect from a billionaire."

"That's it! I'm going to strangle you right now with my own hands before we're somewhere where I can actually be charged for it!" Kaiba lunged.

"Not so fast!" Yami cut him off and got between his two rivals. "There's still things to discuss."

"Like why you were trying to kill us." Ryou started.

"You don't pay much attention, do you Ry?" Tristan rubbed his head.

"Who knows what I would have found if I kept looking!" Bakura shouted. "You could have poisoned our lunches, too!"

Yami noted the sudden twitch of Kaiba's eyes. _Maybe he did poison the food, too._

"While I'd normally disagree with sneaking through other people's stuff," Téa started. "I think since Bakura saved us, sort of, that we'll side with him."

"Agreed." Everyone else, minus Kaiba, piped in.

"I thought you all didn't like him!" Kaiba pointed. "Why would you care if I strangle him?"

"Because he didn't try to kill us all!" Yugi shouted.

"Today, anyway." Yami added.

"Yeah!" Bakura put his hands to his hips and puffed out his chest.

"I'm going to kill you all." Kaiba growled.

"It's seven against one!" Joey smirked. "Save it for later!"

"I'm going to agree with Joey." Tristan spoke up. "We can all try to kill each other after we get out of the desert."

"That might be a good idea." Téa smiled after taking a second look at the still burning aircraft.

"Good luck with that." Kaiba smiled. "I'm calling for a single person ride."

As Kaiba dialed the others went into a group huddle.

"Who's for breaking the phone and taking Kaiba down with us?" Bakura suggested.

"We tried that already, and it won't help the situation." Ryou scolded his darker half.

"Why don't we just steal the phone and call for help instead?" Tristan was starting to think his friends weren't thinking straight.

"Right." Yami agreed. "That might be a better plan."

"Okay then!" Joey shouted. "Break!"

"Get that phone!" Téa charged at Kaiba with the others following close behind.

Kaiba barely had time to duck before he was attacked. He would dial this stupid phone and get a ride! He was Seto Kaiba! His eyes widened when he looked at his empty hands.

It was too bad for Seto that Bakura was a thief. "Got it!"

"Give that back!" Kaiba lunged for Bakura but missed by an inch. "Haven't you ruined enough of my plans?"

"I've yet to begin ruining people's plans!" Bakura laughed manically as Yami snatched the phone from his hand. "Hey!"

"If you're going to stand there and brag I'm calling for help." Yami dialed and lifted the phone to his ear.

"Well?" Téa asked. "Did anyone pick up?"

Yami stared at the phone as if it were a ghost. (Ironic enough.) "The battery's dead."

"Damn it all!" Bakura shouted and punched the ground.

"Perfect." Ryou plopped into the sand next to his darker half.

"So, now what?" Joey asked.

"We wait for someone to notice the huge fire and smoke from the plane." Yugi said dropping into the sand.

"I still hate you all."

"Kaiba! We know already!" Yami shouted. "Just go sit by yourself then."

So they sat and waited. They were in for a long wait it seemed and they all attempted to make themselves comfortable. Ryou leaned back to back with Bakura and traced pictures into the sand. He eventually pulled off his sweater and folded it neatly behind him. He would have taken off the shirt as well, but he feared the damage of sunburn. Téa and Joey started to play tick-tac-toe and Joey started messing the sand up on purpose when he lost. Tristan leaned back and stared at the clouds while Yami and Yugi talked quietly among themselves. Kaiba, indeed, sat by himself with his arms crossed.

"Hey, Bakura. I've been wondering." Tristan began suddenly. Now was as good a time as ever to ask.

"What?" Bakura growled picking up sets of sand and letting it sift through his fingers.

"Since you have your own body after that freak accident with Shadii, the items and that electron generator, why do you still call Ryou 'landlord'?" Tristan asked tilting his head to the side to consider Ryou sitting close to Bakura, also playing in the sand.

"Habit." Bakura mumbled out not paying much attention.

"What he means is instead of living in the back of my head he's living in my house." Ryou finished for his roommate. "I just wish he'd pay his rent with stuff that hadn't been stolen."

"You weren't complaining when I brought home the stereo system." Bakura smirked. "Or the books, or that new Monster World dice set, or the jewelry we sold at that pawn shop."

"Oh shut up." Ryou huffed. "It's not like we could have returned any of it."

"Shut up? You shut up!" Bakura once again captured Ryou in a headlock. "Say uncle!"

"Not on your life!"

"Okay then." Tristan decided to just be quiet and let them fight it out.

"I'm not letting you go 'till you say uncle!" Bakura ruffled Ryou's hair.

"And I'm telling you to let go!" Ryou pulled at Bakura's arm with his free hands. Damn the spirit for being so muscular. The misleading lanky jerk.

"Nope." Bakura smirked. His little landlord was such a weakling.

While those two bickered with each other the others continued on with what they were doing. Téa continued to laugh at Joey's tantrum from loosing, Tristan tried to make out shapes in the smoke, and Yami and Yugi kept talking. And naturally, Kaiba still sat and grumbled.

"Yami, do you think anyone is actually going to come get us?" Yugi pulled at Yami's sleeve.

"Of course." Yami looked back at the plane. "If they can't see that smoke in Spain I'd be surprised."

"That's good to know, then." Yugi fell onto his back. "Wish it wasn't so hot though."

"I'd comment, but I know we'll be complaining about it being cold when it's nightfall." Yami joined him lying down. Maybe Tristan had something going looking at pictures in the smoke.

"At least we've got the plane fire to keep us warm, right?" Joey answered, the ever-optimistic one.

"YEOWCH!" Bakura shrieked. "That's not fair!"

Ryou sat up and brushed off his shirt. "All's fair in love and war, my dear tenant."

"Stop quoting text books, that hurt!" Bakura rubbed his arm.

"What'd you do, Ryou?" Tristan turned his attention back to his two friends.

"Don't you dare say a word." Bakura smacked Ryou's head.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Ryou snickered. "No one will ever know what caused my spirit to screech like a parrot."

Bakura shoved Ryou's face into the sand.

"Maybe, I don't want to know." Tristan scooted away from the thief and his landlord. Those two were crazy.

"Maybe next time I should remember not to include the thief." Kaiba was mumbling to himself. "I could shoot him ahead of time. No one would notice."

Lucky thing, Bakura had very good hearing as it was. "I heard that."

Kaiba threw a rock at Bakura's head. And laughed as the tiny stream of blood worked its way down his face and touched his lips. Bakura licked it absently. "Very funny."

Ryou pulled his head out of the sand and coughed. "I really hate you sometimes."

"Love you too, Landlord." Bakura smiled and Ryou backed off. Bakura smiling was creepy.

Kaiba went back to silent scowling at the wreckage. The crazy people didn't deserve a response. He'd make sure his next plan would work. Oh yes, it would work so very well. Assuming he ever got out of his darn situation. Only what? Six more hours till the sun went down?


	2. Sandstorms are Random.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After realizing that there were actually a few people reading this and waiting for an update, I figured I should give them just that. So, here's an update that he-knows-who-he-is has been bugging me to finish. It's just as well; I'm in a semi-slump with M. Leap so it was good to get the juices flowing with this particular fiction. I hope you all enjoy part 2! (And yes, I realize I over exaggerated the sandstorm in this chapter...artistic license I tell you!)

Only one thing was for certain: It was really freaking cold. The plane fire had died out about two hours after the sun had gone down and the winds started to blow just a tad harder just to spite the desert-wrecked group. Which in turn made it difficult to sleep. Against the will of a few, namely Yami and Bakura, the group was huddled together for a desperate attempt to retain warmth. The few smarter members of the group, Téa and Tristan, made their best attempt to keep Yami and Bakura from touching each other in the huddle. There was only one though, that was not in the huddle at all.

"Kaiba, aren't you cold?" Téa called out from the center of the group. She shivered a tad herself as she leaned out slightly to call to him. Maybe wearing the skirt wasn't the brightest of ideas for this particular trip.

Kaiba pulled his trench coat tighter around his frame and sat up straighter as he grunted "Just fine."

"If he wants to be cold, then just let him stay cold." Yami sighed as he leaned against Joey's back. "He'll come over if he wants to."

Téa looked skeptically back over at Kaiba but dropped the conversation to attempt to get comfortable next to Yugi. She looked over to see Ryou trying to snuggle into Bakura's back, much to the theif's dismay. Tristan was joining Yami in attempting to use Joey's back as a pillow while Yugi had his head on Yami's knee while curling into a ball. She herself was settled right behind Yugi and next to Yami's shoulder not blocked by Tristan and couldn't help but smile at the group. She was a little surprised at Bakura though; he seemed to be the only one not affected by the drastic temperature drop.

"That's it!" Speaking of the thief, he had finally reached his peak of tolerance for the presence of the group before him. It disgusted him that he had taken part in the huddle at all. He blamed his stupid host for begging. "The desert can't have changed too much in three thousand years!"

"What are you doing, Bakura?" Ryou rubbed his eyes blearily, he had finally gotten comfortable, damn it!

"I'll tell you what! I'm going to find my old base and settle down someplace quiet without the rest of you to bother me!"

"Can't you wait until tomorrow?" Ryou tried pouting. Maybe that would secure his pillow, again.

"Don't be silly, Landlord." Bakura nodded and brushed some sand off his jeans. "I want to be in my cave and out of the sun by then."

Ryou sighed as his feet moved on their own and he followed Bakura's march out towards the desert. As he neared he shut his eyes and just held onto Bakura's sleeve to guide him. He was too tired for this nonsense. He barely registered the plane and the others disappearing as he looked back before continuing his zombie march behind his psychotic yami.

"Does anybody know why Ryou followed him?" Tristan asked aloud. It was a delayed reaction considering Bakura and Ryou had left about twenty minutes ago.

"I'd say habit if I had to guess." Yami pondered as he sat upright. "Yugi does it all the time."

"I do not!" Yugi was indignant.

Yami merely looked at him and raised an eyebrow. Yugi didn't even answer him and crossed his arms across his chest. "In any case, I'm sure they can't get too far without stopping and turning around."

"What makes you say that?" Joey finally put in his own opinion.

"Ryou will eventually realize what they're doing and drag the thief back." Yami snickered. "That boy can get the thief to do anything."

"Hope you're right."

"I do believe that's become the least of our worries." Téa interjected. "There's a big tunnel of wind headed our way!"

"There's a what!" Joey shouted suddenly reaching his feet. "It's huge!"

Kaiba looked up lazily at the suddenly approaching blanket of sand. "A sand storm. Just brilliant."

"So, instead of just standing here looking at the _giant wall of sand_ , what are we going to do?"

"Hiding next to the plane might be a good idea." Yami continued talking while heading towards the wreckage. "It's the closet thing we've got to shelter from the sand."

"Well, we should probably trust a guy who used to live here, right?" Joey said slowly following Yami.

"I think you idiots forgot that _he_ doesn't _remember_ anything about his past." Kaiba stated coldly, while making his own way towards the plane. He could still make use of a good idea when he saw one, even if he was still bashing the one who suggested it.

"I could have sworn you didn't believe any of that nonsense, Kaiba." Yami smirked as he attempted to wedge a piece of metal into a semi-shield.

"Oh, shut up."

"I hope Ryou and Bakura are okay." Tristan looked back in the direction his friends had walked off in.

"We'll have to look for them when the storm's over." Yugi joined Yami in pulling open a break in the metal. "Bakura can take care of Ryou, so don't worry."

"I think we should maybe worry about ourselves!" Téa shouted pointing to the closing in storm. The sand whipped at her skirt in small tufts as the wind picked up. She pulled her skirt tighter around her thighs to keep the sand from crawling up her legs. "It's nearly here!"

"Everyone! Get down and stay next to the plane!" Yami shouted commands. "Try and get under something if you can! And cover your head!"

They huddled as close to the plane as they could but soon, all they could see was sand.

* * *

After about ten minutes of walking Ryou finally woke up fully and realized where he and Bakura were walking. "What happened to everyone else?"

"They stayed behind."

"Wait, why did we leave?"

"I left because I was sick of their company and decided to find my old hideout." Bakura stopped a moment to check the stars. "Don't have a clue why you left."

"I can not believe I followed you." Ryou shoved his face into his hands.

"I can. It's habit, probably." Bakura smirked as he found the star he wanted and began to head west about twenty paces. "What luck! That plane landed us closer than I thought."

Ryou followed as close as possible to the thief. Even if Bakura didn't know where he was going, at least they'd be lost together. Ryou did not relish the idea of being alone anywhere in a desert. "What makes you think your hideout is still there?"

"Because no one can find it but me."

"Three-thousand years is a very long time, Bakura."

"Trust me, Landlord." Bakura picked up his pace a little bit. He was getting a bad feeling at the back of his neck. "So pick up your feet so we can get there before the sun comes up and we fry."

"How much farther is it, if you're so sure?" Ryou picked up his pace as instructed.

"Just a few minutes, which is a good thing at the moment." Bakura stopped to turn around. "Because there's a sand storm coming."

"What?" Ryou turned around to see a few breezes pick up in the distance.

"It'll hit where we are in about ten, fifteen minutes assuming if we're lucky." Bakura grabbed Ryou's arm and began to drag him. "We want to be underground when that happens."

"Right!" Ryou let himself be dragged. "You do _really_ know where it is, don't you?"

"Yes, yes!" Bakura griped.

Before Ryou was ready for it, Bakura dropped him down into the sand. "Ouch! What was that for?"

"We're here!" Bakura stood triumphantly in front of a small rock.

"It's a small rock." Ryou was unimpressed and started to look over his shoulder at the steadily increasing winds of sand.

Bakura rolled his eyes. "Of course it looks like a small rock! What type of fool do you take me for?"

"You don't want me to answer that."

"Whatever." Bakura knelt down to push the sand off of the rock. He had a creepy smile on his face while he did it. That "I know something you don't know" smile that drove Ryou crazy whenever Bakura did something illegal.

Regardless of Bakura's facial expressions, Ryou watched carefully as Bakura unburied a slightly larger rock than what he originally thought. He still didn't see how this was a secret base or how it would protect them from a sandstorm.

"Are you going to help or not?"

Ryou snapped out of his thoughts to stare into the eyes of a grumpy, pouting Bakura. "Oh, right."

Together they dug the sand out as much as they could until the rock was about a foot tall, and two feet wide. Bakura then pushed Ryou to the side and dug his hands under the rock and lifted. Ryou's eyes widened when he saw a hole appear beneath the rock. His hands gripped the edge when he peered over the side to look down. Along the side of the vertical tunnel was what looked like a rope attached to the rock above. Ryou looked back up at Bakura to catch the smirk before he felt arms on his shoulders. Bakura grinned as he pushed Ryou back into the tunnel.

Bakura snickered to himself as Ryou fell down the hole. He listened for the 'oomph!' at the bottom before he eased himself into the hole, keeping himself in place by bracing his legs on the sides. Bakura took one last look to notice the storm had already engulfed where the plane had been and was heading towards them quickly. He briefly imagined the others getting hit by a wall of sand and snickered to himself as he grabbed the rope and dropped down the hole himself. The weight of his body pulled the rock back into place neatly over the tunnel entrance.

* * *

With coats and metal covering their heads, Yami and the others huddled as close as they could to each other and the wreckage to protect them from the beating sand. Kaiba was doing much the same, only he did it a foot away from the others. The plane was beginning to rattle loudly as the wind blew hard against it. Kaiba was going to kill whoever had not gotten to them sooner when they realized Kaiba had not come home yet! Twice. He would kill them twice and then make a second fortune after figuring out how to raise people from the dead.

When they thought the wind couldn't get any stronger, they found their makeshift shelter being yanked off the ground by the strong winds.

"You've gotta be kidding!" Joey shouted beneath his jacket as they watched the plane get yanked a few feet from the sides of their coats.

And naturally, if the winds could pick up a plane, flinging around a few lightweight teenagers was no problem at all. All they could do was hold onto each other as the wind and sand beat down on them mercilessly. It was only a matter of minutes before the wind overtook them completely. They were unable to yell for help from the masses of sand filling their mouths or even hold onto each other with the strong winds.

* * *

Ryou rubbed his tender rear as Bakura dropped down beside him with the rope. He glared at his yami, but as usual, it had no effect. But, it was mostly because he couldn't see his yami in the pitch black. "You didn't have to push me."

"It was more fun that way. Besides, you fell on a bed of sand, didn't you?" Bakura's eyes adjusted to the darkness for a bit while his hand groped the wall for a torch. Using a lighter from his back pocket he brought light into the small tunnel. "We got down just in time. That storm's going to hit any second."

"That's good at least." Ryou took a moment to notice the various tunnels that were spread out before him. There were three in a row and one behind where the two of them were standing. "How long do those storms usually last?"

Bakura started walking foreword into the left most tunnel and slowed briefly for Ryou to follow. "Anywhere from an hour to a few days."

Ryou merely nodded and stuck close to the light source Bakura provided. "Did you make all this yourself?"

"Nope." Bakura smirked. "Found it on accident when I fell in a hole."

"Fun." Only his yami could turn a klutzy action into a stroke of luck.

"I did make the doorway in though, was a total pain to get that rope to hold firm enough inside of the rock."

Ryou merely nodded and stopped dead when they got to the end of the short tunnel. "Are those? Are those real?"

Bakura grinned as he looked over his collection. He didn't resell everything he stole from tombs and such. He always kept his favorites here at home, sweet home. He nearly laughed as his host nearly drooled at the gold, silver, and jeweled objects laid out before him. He lifted the light higher so it would reflect and glint off of the various treasures. "Stole every last one and you bet your dollar they're real. I don't do fakes."

Ryou walked over in his slightly amazed shock and took a seat on what looked like a pile of blankets. His eyes kept lingering on a set of rings. "So, how long are we staying here?"

"Until the storm lets up and I figure out how far it is to a modern town."

"Ah." Ryou took that as a "not for some time" and leaned back into the blankets. The best thing to do with his time at the moment was to try for that nap again. He snuggled into Bakura's back again when he felt the thief plop down beside him.

* * *

Kaiba opened his eyes slowly as he blinked off the crusted sand from his eyelids. After shaking his head and ignoring his watering eyes he realized he was by himself and far from the plane. He stood up slowly to take in his surroundings. Sand, sand, sand, pink skirt, sand, sand, oh wait, a pink skirt. He sighed as he walked over to the speck of color in the sea of browns and leaned over the still unconscious Téa. He kicked her in the side.

Téa groaned at the contact and opened her own eyes to a lot of sand and a scowling Kaiba. She was half tempted to knock herself back out again.

* * *

Joey opened his eyes to black leather and a shining silver buckle. He blinked a few times to register that he was on top of Yami. He must have fallen there during the storm and it had left his face against his friend's chest. He shook his head out much like the dog both Kaiba and Duke accused him of being after getting off of Yami. After brushing as much sand off himself as he could he did the same for the still unconscious Yami. A few looks around confirmed Joey's suspicion that they had been separated from the others.

"Hey, Yami." Joey shook Yami's shoulder. "Wake up, man."

"Joey?" Yami mumbled before opening his eyes to the bright sunlight above him. "What happened?"

"We got tossed around like rag dolls."

"Right." Yami closed his eyes again and threw his arms over his face.

* * *

Yugi flung his upper body up into a sitting position with a start as he woke, effectively tossing all of the sand off of his person and onto Tristan's back. He brushed the sand out of his hair using both of his hands. As he looked down at Tristan sprawled out over his legs, face in the sand he dropped his hands to his sides. Yugi then sighed and rolled Tristan off of his legs and onto his back. Standing up he looked around and only caught bits and pieces of the plane scattered about them.

He clutched his puzzle by the chain slightly. Yugi began to worry about where Yami was and how he and the others were doing. He let out yet another sigh before deciding to take care of his own problems. He knelt next to Tristan and poked him in the arm. "Hey, Tristan. Wake up."

After no effect, Yugi shook his shoulders harder and nearly shouted. "Tristan! Wake up!"

Tristan mumbled something incoherent and rolled over onto his side placing his back to Yugi.

Yugi kicked Tristan's head.

* * *

A few miles away, about twenty feet below the surface a thief and his landlord slept away the morning.


	3. Company is Cheap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It developed a plot. When did that happen?

Kaiba never realized just how much he hated the sun. It was bright, stupid and was currently heating up every inch of his body. He brushed some sweat from his brow using the inside of his coat, currently draped over his head. The sun wouldn't be so bad, he gathered, if not for the fact he wore his purple coat. Dark colors absorbed heat, wasn't that just delightful. On the bright side, he wasn't burning his skin directly. All in all, regardless, he was in a foul mood.

"Kaiba! Would it kill you to share the jacket? The thing's big enough for a tent!"

Not that the annoying girl following him didn't add to those troubles enough as it was. "Not a chance."

"Oh come on! We've been walking for ages and my coat got lost in the storm!" Téa tried to cover her face with her arms to protect herself from the sun. "I'm turning red!"

"Not my problem." Kaiba pulled the coat closer to himself out of spite. "Why the hell are you following me anyway?"

"Not including that you're my favorite person in the world and all," Téa huffed with sarcasm. "But you're my best chance at getting out of this mess."

"How so." Kaiba briefly wondered if Frankenstein had something going with using electricity to reanimate bodies. Killing the brunette behind him twice might be fun. He'd force Yugi and his annoying twin to watch both times. Kaiba smiled under his coat where no one could see.

"Simple." Against her will Téa drew herself closer so she was walking in Kaiba's shadow. His being tall was working to her advantage. "You're rich and I'm sure _someone_ is out looking for you since you never came back. In other words, someone is going to find you for sure so I should stick to you."

"What makes you think I won't just leave you in the desert."

"Nothing."

Kaiba stopped walking to stare at her.

"I said it was my best shot," She smirked through her arms. "Never said anything about my odds being good now did I?"

He held his arm out so she could get under the coat.

* * *

"This isn't so bad." Joey marched on next to Yami as they wandered in the sand dunes. "Little sun didn't hurt nobody."

"True, Joey." Yami walked next to him. "But still, too much of this sun is going to start getting to our heads if we don't find some water."

"Ah, we just have to keep our cool!" Joey laughed.

"That was bad, Joey." Yami smiled despite himself. "But really, what to you suggest?"

"Well, this is sort of like a wilderness survival trip!" Joey put his thumbs up.

"A what?"

"You know! Like in boy scouts! A camping trip where it's just you and the wild fighting to survive." Joey struck a pose pointing to the sky with one hand and his other to his waist. "A real manly man's test!"

"Really?" Yami thought for a moment. His first instinct was to make Joey cover his head with his school jacket. The sun might have gotten to him already. After a second thought and wiping his brow off his own coat sleeve, it didn't sound like such a bad idea. "That sounds like more fun than 'lost in the desert' at the very least."

"That's the spirit!" Joey grinned. "Let's make our lemons into sugar water!"

"Don't you mean lemonade?" Yami took off his own coat and threw it over Joey's head. Sometimes he worried about that boy, at least the sun had yet to start bothering himself at least.

"Besides! Aren't you from the desert? Memories or not you've got'ta have some instincts, right?"

"I suppose so." Yami tilted his head in thought. "At the very least I can try my best, right?"

"Yeah!" Joey slapped his buddy on the back. "We'll just make this into a little male bonding trip."

Yami laughed. "It's true, we don't get to hang out very often anymore do we?"

"I can see it now! Joey and Yami! Desert survivors!"

"The very epitome of endurance."

"Partners!"

"Comrades!"

"Onward we go!"

"Joey," Yami grabbed Joey's sleeve. "I think we should head away from the sand tornado developing in the distance."

"Right." Joey stared at the tunnel of wind and made an about face. "That way! Onward we go!"

Yami shook his head and followed silently in step behind. He made sure to double check behind them to make sure the tornado stayed where it was.

* * *

"This sucks. I cannot believe that we're out here stranded! Stupid Kaiba. What's worse is the stupid sun blazing overhead. No, it's the sand. The sand is the worst, by far. I have sand in places that I don't even want to mention talking about. Do you get what I mean? It's itchy, worse than the fabric on our uniforms when we're all sweaty and…"

Somewhere after about thirty minutes of whining, Yugi realized why he never hung out with Tristan unless Joey or the others were around. Yugi sighed and stuffed his head as far under his school jacket as his hair would allow. Ah well, at least he had company at all. He let out a breath and tried to take in the scenery as Tristan rambled.

Behind him he knew was the remains of the plane that had been scattered about them when they woke up. In every other direction: Sand. Unless of course you were looking up, in which case you would be granted a lovely view of clear blue skies and the bright shining sun. Yugi had stopped looking at the sun a while ago when he felt his retina's burning. Not that looking at the sand was any better with all the light being reflected back.

"Tristan," Yugi mumbled.

"…And then," The taller male stopped for a moment. "Yeah, Yugi?"

"Do you think maybe you could be quiet for just a little bit?" Yugi tried to smile from underneath the coat at him. "I've got a headache from all the sun."

"Ah, sure."

"Thanks."

The two continued on quietly for a few brief moments. Very brief moments.

"Damn it's hot."

Yugi wanted to crawl up in a hole and cry. Luckily he got his wish as his foot caught on a rather large rock he had failed to see and sent him tumbling down a sand dune that had come up on his right. Tristan being the friend he is watched as the shorter boy tumbled down the hill.

After a few moments of watching the still figure at the bottom, Tristan finally reacted. "Yugi!"

Yugi shifted slightly to sit himself up on his hands as he felt Tristan skid to a stop next to him after trailing down the hill himself.

"Hey," Tristan picked up Yugi's coat from a nearby pile of sand that had been disturbed in the fall. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Yugi shook sand from his hair and wished for once he wasn't wearing so much gel. "Just a little tumble, nothing to worry about."

Yugi smiled up at Tristan only to see his eyes glued to a point somewhere behind where Yugi was sitting. "Tristan?"

Tristan merely pointed in a gesture meant to make Yugi turn around. Taking the expression on his face as any indicator, Yugi didn't want to turn around. He did anyway.

"Is that it?" Yugi looked down at the little black critter. "It's just a scorpion."

"Scorpion?"

"Yes, what did you think it is?" Yugi impaled it with the pointy end of his puzzle. "See? All taken care of, and now we have a snack!"

"Not that!" Tristan smacked him upside the head. "Stand up!"

Yugi scratched his head and stood up to where he could see over the smaller dune next to him. He hated being short. Just above his sitting height he was allowed a good view of the expanse of ruins just over the hill, or at the very least a poor town. "Oh."

* * *

Ryou was bored out of his mind. Jewels and riches were fun in all, but the effect of all that glitter tends to wear off after the first few hours. Bakura was being stubborn as usual and refused to check if the sandstorm was over for at least another few hours, just to be sure of course. Ryou flicked a gold coin across the floor and wondered how anything in this little hollow preserved so well after all these years. His father would have a field day.

"You're not telling your dad about this place!" Bakura shouted.

Ryou remembered again why he hated not being able to block Bakura from his head. "And if I did?"

"I'd kill him!" Bakura shook a fist. "Relative or not! No modern day tomb robber is stealing this tomb robber's booty!"

"You sound like a pirate."

"Oh shut up." Bakura stilled. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"It sounded like someone tripping over my rock and tumbling down the dune next to the entrance."

"Don't be absurd." Ryou stood up and brushed off his pants. He'd been sitting too long. "There's no way you could tell that from down here."

"Says you." Bakura crossed his arms and huffed. "Who's the tomb robber here?"

Ryou walked down a tunnel stealing the torch leaving Bakura in the dark.

"Real mature there, Ryou!" Bakura laughed. "I don't need it to see in the dark!"

Ryou smiled when he heard the inevitable cursing of Bakura stubbing his toe on the crown Ryou left in the middle of the floor.

"RYOU!"

* * *

In the meantime, Kaiba Corp was in a fuss. Their illustrious leader was nowhere to be found. Truth be told, no one working really cared that Kaiba was missing, save for a few loyal employees, and even then they were happy for the break. What really mattered, was every moment they couldn't find their jerk teenager of a boss, his whiny, and bratty little brother got an octave louder as he screamed for "big brother." At the rate he was going, and if Mokuba were a speaker, he would be at level 11.

"We have to find Big Brother!" Mokuba screamed for the tenth time. "He said he'd be back today using his jet pack! I see no brother! I see no jet pack! I see no plane in the case of emergency!"

"Please, calm down Master Mokuba." A secretary, otherwise known as Loyal Employee Number 3, tried to stall his nerves. "I'm sure he's fine. If he were in trouble he would have sent a distress signal, or at least called. Want some ice cream?"

"Ice cream!" Mokuba grabbed the fudge pop being offered. "Yummy!"

Number 3 sighed with relief as Mokuba munched. _Finally_.

"No wait!" Mokuba snapped up from his treat. "I have to find my brother!"

"Sir?"

"With him gone, I'm in charge! So it's up to me to take action! Be gone temptress of ice cream!"

 _Oh, no._ Number 3 knew this couldn't be good as the fudge pop flew at her head.

"Scramble the jets!"

* * *

At the plane hangers, Loyal Employees Number 2 and 4 shivered.


	4. Never A Good Sign.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have so much planned for this it's not even funny. I do hope you're all enjoying their adventures so far! Do tell though, whose time in the desert is the most interesting to follow at the moment? In the meantime though, enjoy!

He never realized sharing a coat could be so annoying when it was hot. If the sun wasn't bad enough, Kaiba pondered, it was the body heat radiated from his self-proclaimed companion. Damn her. "Could you scoot over? You're burning up."

"I'm sorry." Téa scooted closer to spite him. "Is that better? You must be freezing being such a twig and all."

"You're an evil, evil creature. I'd think you'd be burning up with all that body fat. But then again, I'm sure you're used to the scorching temperatures." He tried to yank the coat out of her grip and leave her at full mercy of the sun. He failed miserably and pouted when she yanked back just as hard and kept her head covered. "And a stubborn fool to boot."

She elbowed him in the gut. "Oh shut up. You act like you're the only one suffering here."

"I am." He shoved her back and smirked when she fell flat. Satisfied she now had sand in her skirt he pulled the coat over his head where it belonged. His pride told him to ignore the dampness of the jacket from their sweat. "I have to deal with the heat _and_ an annoyance."

Téa was back on her feet and shoving back hard enough to put _his_ ass in the sand. "At least I'm not an arrogant prick."

"At least I'm not such a bitch!" As the last words left his mouth he realized she had snatched his coat right out of his hands and had sprinted ahead a few feet. "No, never mind, that might be insulting to the dogs."

"At least I don't turn into putty at the eyes of a little monster of a sibling." She smiled and did a cute spin with his coat.

"At least I can pull my own weight and not just cheer from the sidelines." He jumped up to his feet and caught up with her easily. Grabbing her arm he forced her to let him under the coat again. It was too hot for all this, really.

Little did he know Téa was thinking along the same lines. Which in this case, is why she allowed him to walk next to her under the coat. "At least I know how to share."

"At least I don't," Kaiba stopped walking and Téa stumbled a little at the abrupt stop. "Are we really arguing like three year olds?"

"It seems we are."

"Stupid sun."

"Damn straight."

* * *

"I feel kinda funny, Yami." Joey's shoulders were hunched beneath his coat as he paused. "You think it really is this heat?"

"It could be, Joey." Yami paused and brushed his bangs out of his face before he continued. "We really do need to find some water soon, or we won't make it another day."

"That might cut our whole wilderness survival trip short." Joey forced out a laugh. "Wouldn't it? That would be pathetic."

Yami sighed. It was a little unfair to not be affected by the heat, but yet to have to watch your friend suffer. "Don't worry. A little sun won't be the end of us."

"Yeah," Joey straightened his shoulders and let out a yawn. "Makes you drowsy, though."

"I'd avoid sleeping just yet, Joey." Yami sighed and patted his friend on the back. "We've still got a way to go."

"Where are we going anyway?"

"I'm not sure, really." Yami couldn't explain it, but there was this force pushing him in one direction. "But instinct can't be wrong."

"I trust you, buddy." He blinked the sweat out of his eyes. "I just hope instinct gets us there sooner."

Yami watched Joey for a moment. "Maybe a break would be good."

Joey refused to disagree with that as Yami pulled him towards the little shade a rock formation had provided. He barely registered falling asleep on his friend's shoulder the moment he hit the ground.

"I guess you were tired." Yami prayed that was all it was, because he had no idea how to handle things if Joey really wasn't okay. "Sleep for now and I'll try and remember what my body keeps telling me."

Joey merely shifted in his sleep and started mumbling something about making Kaiba wear a dog suit. Yami smiled at the thought and closed his own eyes to drift into dreams.

About an hour or two passed like this before Yami woke with a start. He couldn't tell if it was because of his dream or Joey kicking him unconsciously. Probably the kicking as he looked at his friend who had fallen over on his side. Joey was twitching. Whatever it was it made Yami's head hurt, as well as his side. It might have just been his dream, but he kept thinking about a fort and chasing the Dark Magician around a pool. What was weirder was the appearance of Kaiba wearing an awful hat and claiming his fort was better. While it was clearly a dream, he couldn't help but think he'd been to that pool for real before. Or that he'd seen the rock he was leaning on before. Then he remembered.

"Joey!" Yami shook his shoulder. "Wake up!"

"Huh?" Joey mumbled blearily as he looked up at Yami's grinning face. It was sort of scary when he thought about it. Yami looked like he had just found out some big secret, or that he had just pulled the best prank ever. It took that moment of staring in blissful consideration to remember that it spooked him and cause him to jump back. "Ack! What is it?"

"I remembered! Let's go!" Grabbing Joey's hand, Yami didn't give him the time to protest and dragged him off to who-knows-where.

Joey struggled to hold the coat on his head and tried to remind himself he trusted Yami while the other half of his brain told him the sun finally caught up to the dead Egyptian.

* * *

"Who would have thought we'd be lucky enough to come upon a whole city!" Tristan was practically skipping down the streets of the forgotten ruins.

"Shame it's void of all life and falling apart." Yugi kicked the side of a building and watched the clay walls crumble and crack. "We're not going to find any food or water here."

"Stop being a stick in the mud, Yugi!" Tristan turned to face him and patted a wall gently. "At least now we got shade and a place to rest."

"That won't do us any good if we can't get some help!" Yugi shouted. "We need water!"

Tristan took a step back. "Jeesh, you don't have to get so angry."

Yugi frowned. His patience was shot and he was thirsty, cranky and wanted his Yami gosh darn it! Yugi stopped at that thought and realized he really must be dehydrated if his brain processes had dwindled down to that line. "Let's look for a well."

"Okay." Tristan hummed as he browsed the streets. This really must have been a nice little city in its time. "I wonder why this hasn't turned into a tourist attraction yet."

"It's probably still being studied as a dig if someone's found it." Yugi looked about hoping that it was a dig. A dig meant archaeologists, which mean food, water and possibly a ride out of this blasted place. "Assuming someone's found it."

"Way to be a pessimist, Yugi." Tristan scowled. "There's no way someone hasn't found a place this big yet! Why don't you just say that there is no chance of getting out of this desert while you're at it!"

Yugi would have retorted back about the huge size of the desert and the power of sand to hide and reveal lost treasures but he was too distracted by the circular stack of stones in front of him. "A well!"

"Yeah!" Tristan sprinted over to the well and let his coat fall off behind him. "Hey, it's still got the bucket and string and everything!"

"Well," Yugi picked up Tristan's jacket and threw it back at him. "Don't just stand there, see if there's any water left!"

It was a few silent moments while they watched the bucket go down the long shaft. When it felt like it hit bottom they both pulled and were joyous when the realized it had gotten heavier. A few good tugs and they were staring at the most beautiful sight they had ever seen in their lives. Yugi wanted to cry, again.

"That was the most refreshing thing in existence." Tristan sighed as the remaining droplets of water dribbled down his chin.

Yugi snatched the bucket to finish off the rest and turned to lean on the well as he did it. The bucket was all he could see as he tipped it up to swallow. "Indeed, that was worth all the walking."

A dagger impaled the earth at the bottom of Yugi's feet. From the side of his bucket Yugi could see Tristan's now white-as-snow face. Brilliant, just brilliant. Yugi lowered the bucket slowly to reveal about twenty natives in sarongs and gold jewelry. All of them were armed with spears, daggers and clubs, and scowling.

"Put the bucket down, Yugi." Tristan barely managed to keep the sentence straight.

"Right." Carefully setting the bucket down, Yugi straightened his back and put his hands out in front of him. "We're just passing through. No trouble here."

They started shouting at them in what Yugi assumed was either Arabic or Egyptian, but that didn't matter because he didn't understand it either way. They pulled out rope and started to close in on the two students.

"I blame your hair." Tristan stated calmly while backing up to the well. "It's strange, unnatural and it provoked them into thinking we're demons."

"Excuse me!"

Tristan didn't know who hit him first. That Egyptian or Yugi.

* * *

Ryou smiled as he took a sip of water. "This is nice."

Bakura smirked as he used a cup to dish out some water for himself. "I told you I had everything covered down here."

"Yeah, but how was I supposed to know you had access to an underground source of water."

"You think I lived down here without it?" Bakura scoffed. "Water's heavy. No way I could store it or get it down that tunnel without dropping it."

"I think it was just dumb luck." Ryou smiled to show teeth. "Like how you found this place."

"Oh hush." Bakura stood proud. "It just means the god of thieves is looking out for his humble servant."

"Well, I hope he looks out for us enough for you to get us out of her and into a town." Ryou punched his border in the shoulder. "I don't plan on staying here forever, you know."

"Yeah, yeah." Bakura rubbed his shoulder in faux pain. "There's a city about ten miles north of here."

"So, we should stock up on water and go." Ryou wondered if it would be worth it to carry a few trinkets with him as well.

"Assuming there are still people living there." Bakura didn't like the way Ryou was eyeing his treasures. They were his damn it and he wasn't sharing! "These are 3000 year old memories, remember?"

"Was there water near by?"

"Yes."

"A lot?"

"Yeah, a river or something."

"Then there are still people."

"I hate you sometimes."

"Then move out."

"Curse you, Landlord! Curse you!"

Ryou rolled his eyes. Sometimes he missed the homicidal side of his leech.

* * *

Loyal Employee Number 3 was having a hard time believing she was sitting on a plane heading towards a desert because a certain black haired kid couldn't be without his brother for a few days. She gave her pity to Loyal Employees Number 2 and 4 who were currently flying the plane. That Mokuba boy was ruthless. Ah well, she snuggled back into her seat, it wasn't completely her problem.

"Why aren't we there yet!" Mokuba whined. "This is supposed to be Kaiba Corp's fastest jet and we know that my brother was in Egypt!"

"With all due respect, sir," Number 2 began. "Egypt is a very long way away from Japan."

"I don't care! Make it go faster!"

"We're going as fast as we can, sir!" Number 4 put in his opinion. "Besides, even if we get there we don't have anything to track."

"We'll search that whole desert if we have to!" Mokuba smacked Number 4 on the back of the head. "The faster we get there, the faster we find him and the faster we go home!"

It was going to be a long flight. Number 3 took a swig from a flask of whisky in her suit jacket pocket. It wasn't like she was flying. Number 2 and Number 4 glared at her from the pilot's seats. She smirked. Her job didn't require her to be sober; it was good to be the secretary. She smiled as the alcohol buzz blocked out Mokuba's constant droning.

* * *

Somewhere in the Shadow Realm bets were being placed.

"Ten says Téa kills him." Dark Magician Girl shouted slamming her money on the table.

"Not if he does it first!" Lord of D. matched her bet.

"Not a chance!" Magician of Faith added to the Magician Girl's pot. "My girl will kick his ass!"

"Twenty that Pharaoh and his sidekick get out of the desert on their own without any help." Dark Magician smirked and put his own money down. There was no way his Pharaoh would fail a wilderness survival mission!

"I'll put ten on that!" Flame Swordsman added to the growing pile. He high-fived the Dark Magician.

"Twenty says they both snap before they even have a chance to get out." Celtic Guardian shoved his own pieces into the pot. He smirked when Jinzo added to the pot.

Kuriboh merely mewed and threw about thirty on the table. He then sat contently in the Dark Magician Girl's lap and purred.

"What did he just bet on?" Magician of Faith inquired after staring at the ball of fluff jumping up and down excitedly in her friend's lap.

"He bet that Yugi would strangle Tristan before this whole thing is done with." Dark Magician answered thoughtfully.

"No bet." Celtic Guardian laughed. "He's already half-way there as it is!"


	5. Chapter Five: Good to be Pharaoh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next little installment ready to go just for you guys! I just want to take some time to say thank-you to everyone who has read and left reviews! It does mean a lot when you guys tell me what you like and don't like. In any case, I'm having a blast writing this one, so I hope you all have just as much fun reading it!

Téa and Kaiba had managed to make it to nightfall without killing each other.

Kaiba considered it an amazing accomplishment on his part while Téa figured it had something to do with the heat frying their brains.

"We should stop here and get some sleep." Téa stopped and yanked the coat to prevent Kaiba from walking any further either.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because there's a rock formation just over that hill and it would be a good place to take shelter."

"Whatever." Kaiba was much too tired to argue.

A short detour on their ever-present invisible straight line had them both crashing at the base of the rock. Kaiba had no intention of sharing his coat as a blanket as well as a heat shade.

"Hey!" Téa yelled as the coat was ripped from her fingertips. "It won't kill you to share it!"

"It just might." Kaiba rolled himself up snuggly and put his back to the loud girl.

"Fine!" Téa put her arms around herself and mimicked the action. "I'll survive the cold night just fine to spite you."

"You go ahead and do that." He snuggled farther into his blanket.

* * *

Loyal Employee Number 1 (the only one deemed worthy of a name), Roland, was in a fix. Master Kaiba still had not returned from his latest "Kill the Annoying Ones" plan, it was his sixth attempt this year if Roland remembered correctly. In either case, Roland was beginning to worry about this predicament and realized the best option would be to go find Mr. Kaiba and bring him home.

He would have set out already to get the man, but he was currently wondering to where Mokuba had run off. He had checked every room in the Kaiba mansion and asked around the main building of Kaiba Corp. if anyone had seen him. As of yet he had only gotten happy replies that no one had seen either Kaiba boy. Roland sighed. Sometimes it really did suck to have his job.

"Knowing Mokuba, he probably went after Mr. Kaiba without me." Roland mumbled to himself. "Ungrateful brat."

If Mokuba were smart he would have realized that Roland had put a tracer bug in Mr. Kaiba's coat. After all, that man gets into more trouble than any other billionaire that he knew. A simple click of a button and he'd activate the tracer and find him in a snitch. Just because Mr. Kaiba didn't know about it didn't mean he couldn't use it. Activate the tracer, hope into the 'Fly Straight to Egypt if Mr. Kaiba ever believes in ancient Magic' Pod, and he'd be home by dinner. Roland smiled because it was good to be prepared.

With that thought in mind, Roland made his way to the plane hangers. As long as he got to Mr. Kaiba first then he wouldn't have to worry about dealing with the little kid later all by his lonesome.

* * *

Yami was giddy as a schoolgirl as he jogged and dragged Joey behind him. "Hurry up Joey! If we keep up this pace we'll get there before the sun goes completely down!"

"Hey! Ease up on the arm!" Joey fumbled to get the words out between trying to keep his footing on the sand. "You're going to yank it out of the socket!"

"Oh!" Yami stopped running and let Joey catch his breath. "Sorry, I guess I got over excited there for a bit, huh?"

"I think that's an understatement, man."

"Well, if we get there you'll get plenty of water and a good night's sleep."

"That sounds awesome, but how do you know it's still there?"

"It has to be!" Yami gripped his fists. "There is no way that the gods would grant me a dream of it and lead me on if it wasn't still there!"

"Sure they're not just playing a joke on you?" Joey looked Yami in the eyes. "Never mind, lead on!"

"Come on then!"

Joey sighed and tried to wring some of the sweat from his coat. It had been a long day and he had never looked so foreword to having the sun set in the sky. Yami looked like the sun himself the way he was radiating smiles. No wonder Pharaohs were said to be the sun god, they took to this heat and sunshine like it was nothing. Survival trip or not, Joey was starting to feel like he would pass out if they didn't get a break. It almost wasn't fair in a way, Joey didn't understand how Yami could be running around and not have broken a sweat. Maybe it was because he was a spirit? Or was it because the man was just that good at survival? Joey's thoughts were taken over by finding logical conclusions. In fact, he was so lost in his thoughts he didn't realize he had run into Yami's back.

"Joey, are you alright?" Yami reached down to pull his friend back to his feet. That little fall must have hurt. "We're here!"

"We're what?"

"Just look." Yami shoved his friend up in front and smiled at the back of Joey's head and his blonde hair.

Joey was dumbstruck. The setting sun against the background was the perfect lighting to show off the scene in front of him. The water shone like liquid gold and reflected the numerous green trees softly swaying. One foot stumbled in front of the other as he made his way towards the portrait laid out before him. There was a small waterfall spilling the reflecting water into the pool below and little animals were pausing the drink it. A piece of some sort of fruit fell off a tree as he came closer. Joey stopped finally when he got to the water's edge, too afraid to touch it in case it was a mirage that would disappear.

"In ya' go!"

Yami apparently had other plans as he shoved the blonde headfirst into the water. He laughed at the ripples that emerged with Joey's head full of laughter. Joey shook his hair free of water and felt it was only fair to grab Yami's jacket and yank him in as well.

As the sun disappeared on the horizon behind them Joey and Yami were caught in their own laughter. They had a mini water fight under the stars and things began looking up for their Survival Wilderness trip.

* * *

Tristan hurt all over. It really wasn't fair for those natives to sit and laugh as Yugi beat him to a pulp. For a small guy he really packed a punch. Then again, so did the natives. Once they were done laughing they joined in and attempted to get Yugi off of him. That didn't go well either and cause them to end up in their current situation. "I still blame your hair."

Yugi didn't even give him the honor of a response. Before, Yugi was just annoyed and hot. Now he was annoyed, hot, and tied to a stake with kindling at his feet. He hoped they burned Tristan first so Yugi could enjoy the first few screams before he had his own barbeque to worry about. On the bright side, it looked like it was going to be a lovely night.

The natives themselves were quite happy. They had finally had a chance to put their skills to use in ridding the world of thieving intruders. No one had shown up in ages and it was quite sad when you wanted trespassers to show up just so you could catch them doing something wrong. They would have added to the fun by mocking the intruders, but they wouldn't understand what they were saying anyway. Sometimes it sucked speaking a dead language.

"Maybe, if you shaved your head really fast they'd realize their mistake and let us down." Tristan pondered while working at his bindings at the wrist.

"Shut up." Yugi kicked Tristan best he could. Unfortunately the hit only brushed the other man's leg. "My hair has nothing to do with it!"

"Of course it does!"

"Does not!"

"Demon hair!"

"You are such an idiot!"

"At least my hair is normal and doesn't invoke the wrath of the gods!"

"What is your problem? My hair is natural and it least it doesn't look like a weapon!"

"You take that back!"

"Stop calling my hair the spawn of demons!"

"Ow!" Tristan winced as the switch smacked his leg. He saw Yugi twitch at the same treatment.

"Apparently they don't like us arguing." Yugi stilled and looked at the suddenly quite group of natives. "They want to get started."

"Yeah, I think them carrying torches is a good sign of that." Tristan backed into his pole as far as he could. "I still blame you."

"If you understand anything I'm saying at all, light him on fire first!" Yugi screeched.

The torch made its way slowly to Yugi's kindling first. Yugi wanted to cry and he wanted his Yami to come show up and save him and he wanted his Grandpa and a whole bunch of other stuff that didn't involve being burnt at the stake before he graduated high school.

"My Pharaoh?"

The torch stopped it's approach to the kindling and all of the natives dropped on one knee as the tall newcomer approached.

Yugi opened the eyes he hadn't realized he had shut to stare straight into a pair of pupil less eyes. "Shaadi?"

* * *

"All ready to go?" Bakura strapped on a side pack and a canteen of water. "If we leave now we should reach the town before morning."

"Yeah." Ryou yawned. He didn't think he'd ever get used to this running around at night thing and sleeping during the day. "Let's go."

Bakura climbed up the rope of his trap door and Ryou followed quietly behind. A Quick shove and the rock was out of the way and the two could-be twins were out and at the mercy of nature once again. The sand felt good shifting beneath his feet. "Well, Landlord."

"Well what?"

"Nothing." Bakura smirked. "Just making sure you were awake."

"You're up to something."

"No, never." Bakura simply smiled and checked the sky and found a star to guide off of. "Village, town, city, whatever it is should be that way."

Ryou followed the pointing finger with his eyes and resigned himself to a very long night of walking.

* * *

The Loyal Employees were about to be not so loyal any more. They had circled that damn desert for at least the third time with no sign of any life forms. Their current boss was relentless and even as the sun was disappearing behind the horizon he insisted on one more go around.

The worst part was that Loyal Employee Number 3 had finally run out of liquor. She was thinking of imaginative ways to curse Number 2 for snitching some of her alcohol. Just because he was only the co-pilot doesn't give him the right to get drunk, too!

"Sir, maybe it would be best to land the plane and take a break before considering to go out again?" Number 3 tried to speak reason to the child.

"We don't stop until we find my brother!" Mokuba shouted.

Number 4 grunted as the boy's fist connected with his head. "I agree, we really should take a break before we crash the plane out of exhaustion."

After looking at the pleading looks Mokuba relented slightly. He did have a point about that whole crashing the plane thing. "Fine."

"Thank-you, sir." They all relaxed in their seats and looked for a good place to land the plane.

"But only for 30 minutes!"

The groans could be heard over the plane engines. In the back of her head, Number 3 seemed to remember something Roland had said about a tracking device, but it was too late at present to do anything. She banged her head on the seat.

* * *

Dark Magician smirked. "Told you they'd find that oasis!"

Celtic Guardian threw his money at the smirking sorcerer. "Yeah, yeah."

"I'm disappointed at the lack of blood." Dark Magician Girl sighed. "I could have sworn someone would have killed someone by now."

"Yugi got pretty close." Flame Swordsmen noticed. "If those natives hadn't jumped in the way, little Kuriboh would have won hands down.

"True." Jinzo added his bit to the conversation.

Magician of Faith growled at Kaiba through the looking glass and wondered if she could get an attack through dimensions. "How dare that bastard not share the blanket?"

"Excuse me?" Lady of Faith had entered the room. "We were wondering if this is where everyone was watching the fun?"

"Yeah!" Dark Necrofear was having trouble keeping her doll still. "We heard all the young masters have really gotten into a mess!"

Celtic Guardian smirked. "As long as you've got some cash to back up some bets, welcome aboard!"

"I bet Dark Necrofear breaks your face if you don't move out of the way of that view screen." Lady of Faith smiled as she tilted her head.

"Right."

The two newcomers smiled as they watched Celtic Guardian scramble behind the Dark Magician.


	6. Oasis' Rocks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know it's short. But it's more than I had for this chapter when I was going to post it last week. Sad, I know, but in any case: Enjoy!

The morning was bitter and so very cold. Seto Kaiba had woken up snuggling with a one Téa Gardner. And not just any snuggling mind you, it was the cuddly-wuddly type. The kind of snuggling where the girl has her head resting in the fall between your shoulder and your neck and an arm around your waist. The kind where your legs find themselves tangled in between your partner's set. It was that morning after where both opened their eyes at the same time to gaze into the depths of the other's. He was shooting himself at first opportunity.

Better yet, he'd just shoot her. Yeah, that was a good option. Shoot her and be done with it. Screw bringing her back to life to do it again, he wanted her erased from existence.

"Stop scowling." Téa smacked him. "Like I'm any happier about it."

"We never speak a word of it again."

"I'm oh too happy to comply." Téa grabbed the coat and pulled it over her head. The nerve of him putting a move on her when she was asleep!

Téa had also experienced a horrendous wake up call. Realizing she had snuggled with that cold-hearted bastard had sent chills down her spine. If he so much as touched her again on this little trip she'd strangle him with her skirt belt.

Kaiba let her take the coat. If sharing a coat as a blanket lead to cuddling he'd rather fry his brain in the sun. "Good that we agree."

The unhappy couple continued their trudging through the dessert quietly and efficiently, save for the fact they were both thirsty, hungry, and tired. The congregation of scorpions that had surrounded them in the last five minutes didn't help their moods much, either.

* * *

Roland hummed along and read a magazine as his small pod-shaped plane made its way through the sky. If all went according to plan he'd be catching up with Mr. Kaiba's homing beacon in about two hours. Briefly he checked his beacon screen to make sure he was indeed heading towards his boss and tapped the screen when it flickered. Next to Mr. Kaiba's screen was Mokuba's screen. Roland had watched the little blinking light circle the Egyptian desert about six times so far. He wondered if he'd have to go and get the young master as well but quickly put it behind him. The boss came first after all, that and Mr. Kaiba would surely want to grab the boy himself. He sipped a cup of coffee and smiled. _I'm coming, Sir!_

* * *

Unlike another couple that had ended up snuggling, Yami and Joey didn't seem to mind so much. It was a known fact of wilderness survival that body heat was a good way to keep warm in the freezing cold nights. Especially if you were soaking wet when the cold breezes had started flowing through the desert. Dying of hypothermia rather than sharing body warmth was, contrary to popular belief, not a manly thing to do.

Joey woke first and yawned as he sat up pulling the coat he was sharing as a blanket with Yami. He had slept snug as a bug in the comforting section of greenery and running water. He ruffled the excess sand from the edges of the area out of his hair and stretched. "Morning, Yami."

"Morning, Joey." Yami yawned himself and shook his head to get the sticking sand out as well. He was surprised at how well he slept. "Isn't that beautiful?"

"Yeah, not everyday you get to see a sunrise over an oasis." Joey smiled. "We're really lucky."

"I agree, Joey." Yami stretched and stood up. "Now, let's gather some supplies and work on our way to get home."

"Yeah! We got a survival trip to kick up into full gear!" Joey struck fist. "And that darn sun isn't going to get me this time round!"

"Right." Yami smiled and walked over to the water to wash his face and get a drink. "Come get clean, and then we can look for something to store water and food in."

"Got it." Yami's eyes widened. "Joey!"

"Ouch." Joey rubbed his head. "Who would have thought an oasis' rock would have taken me out before my big survival _trip_."

"Joey, please stop the awful puns."

"Yes, Yami."

* * *

Yugi woke up smiling. He was cool, relaxed, and comfortable in the big fluffy bed. It paid to be the reincarnation of a Pharaoh. He snuggled into the blankets when he remembered Tristan was on a cot somewhere with the servants. Served the jerk right for blaming his hair for demonic implications. If he was lucky no one had given up a bed and Tristan was sleeping on the floor. He'd have to get Yami to praise Shaadi or something next time he saw them.

Yugi yawned into the pillow when Shaadi came through the doors. He smiled down at the little pharaoh look-a-like. This was a wonderful way to get into good terms with his Pharaoh. Ra knew that he needed to get back into graces after all those misunderstood messages. "Good morning. I trust you slept well?"

"Yeah." Yugi rubbed an eye and sat up. "What's for breakfast?"

"Just something simple for this morning. Eggs and some milk."

"Sounds good," Yugi yawned again. "Will Tristan be there?"

"Only if you permit it." Shaadi coughed remembering the fuss the other man had put up last night about sleeping on the floor.

"Send him eggs in his room. I've seen his face enough as it is." His star shaped hair was falling in his face. It screamed for a bath and hair gel. "Anyway I can get a bath?"

"Of course."

It was so very good to be the reincarnation of a Pharaoh. Yugi pet his puzzle and briefly wondered what Yami and the others were doing.

* * *

"We are not taking that."

"Stop being a wimp, of course we are."

"We can not take that!"

"Of course we can!"

"Bakura, we are _not_ taking that."

"How else do you expect to get home?"

"Buy a ticket and do it legally."

"The only way we can get money is if I steal it, so what's the difference?"

"You can get a little money from a lot of places and it won't hurt anyone too bad and we'll still be able to pay for it. It's a big difference."

"Hurt a bunch of people a little, or one guy a lot. It all adds up to be the same amount of damage."

"It's not the same burden to put on people!"

"Don't think of it as putting a burden on someone, think of it as making a statement against paying for travel."

"You're impossible!"

"No, I'm awesome and you just don't realize it."

"Listen, I'll say it: You're awesome for having found civilization in one night and will think of a _legal_ way to get us home."

"That's nice of you to say, but I'm still going to do this. It's a challenge and it's screaming at me my little Landlord."

"We're going to get arrested."

"Only if we get caught."

"I hate you."

"I take it that means you've caved."

"Yes."

"Speak up louder, I can't hear you."

"Yes."

"Much better, now come Landlord!"

"We're going to regret this."

"Nonsense! Now keep it down."

"We are, let's not do this."

"Come on now, airplane's don't kidnap themselves."

"Get your arm off of me."

"No."

* * *

Mokuba was still asleep and Loyal Employee Number 3 had never been so happy. Numbers 2 and 4 were taking the moment to catch some sleep themselves. The kid was cute when he was asleep, she had to admit. It was such a shame he was such a little heartless monster when he was awake. Or at least, when he was without his brother it seemed. She yawned and couldn't help but wonder if she had forgotten something important. Roland kept coming to her mind but she brushed it off. That idiot couldn't do anything right, even if he was the Number One Loyal Employee.

* * *

"Stop taking pictures."

"Ahh, come on DM! It's so cute!" Dark Magician Girl had taken about fifty pictures so far of the snuggling couples.

"They'll be angry about it later." Dark Magician was more angry knowing the girl wouldn't share the copies with him unless he taught her a new trick.

"Like they'll ever see them."

"Point."


	7. The Sun is Evil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry these are all so short, but I'm rather fond of doing each segment in a short little paragraph or dialogue. Lets you fill in blanks of what happens in between. Enjoy the next bit!

"It's not that I really hate everyone else in the world, but actually its that I feel that they're inferior. The fact that I've yet to really meet someone who matches up to me in intellect and talent, save for that damned Mutoh when it comes to Duel Monsters, frustrates me to no end. I feel like I can't have an intelligent conversation with anyone you know? Is holographic technology and computers that can think for themselves really that difficult a concept to understand? Projections, lights and colors, it's really not that difficult. Now, compressing all of the needed materials into a small space is a bit more challenging but really. Now if only everyone else could understand this things wouldn't be so bad. Mokuba has potential but I've got a billion other issues with my little brother that I really shouldn't…"

Kaiba had been talking solid for the past hour and Téa felt as if her head was going to explode. She pulled the coat down tight around her head in an attempt to block out the sound. Apparently being dehydrated combined with sunstroke didn't cause Seto Kaiba to pass out, it caused him to get talkative. She had tried many times before to get him to shut up but it lasted for about three minutes before he picked up right where he left off. "Shoot me, please."

"Did you say something? I wouldn't shoot you just yet, I may need you as a bargaining tool or something. Besides I don't want to get blood on my coat. Those things are custom ordered you know, they've got an entire electrical system in them that allows me to use them as walkie-talkies and such. It's all rather interesting and makes them a bit heavy to wear but the dramatic wind effect of the tail of the coat thanks to wires thread throughout the fabric are really worth it you know…"

Téa groaned and wished for water to appear. They were getting close to the dangerous time where they really could die from dehydration and that didn't sound very appealing.

"…maybe I should consider opening a fabrics and clothing department in Kaiba corp…"

Then again, dying was starting to sound pretty good right now.

* * *

Roland watched the little beeping blip on his monitor and realized that he was about twenty minutes away from collecting Mr. Kaiba. He attempted to look out the window to try and spot him, but all he saw was sand. Ah well, he was sure he'd see his boss soon and then they could all go home and get this mess over with. He yawned a bit and made an attempt to keep from falling asleep. He'd been up for two days solid now. That was just the tip of his dedication, however, he would not let Mr. Kaiba down!

* * *

"Do we have everything, Joey?" Yami checked his home-made pack constructed from palm tree leaves. It was amazing what you could do with those big boat-shaped leaves. The best part was the construction came naturally to him like he'd done it a million times before.

"I'm pretty sure." Joey pulled out some coconuts shells and filled them with water. "Just gotta' get our water supply and I'd say we're good to go."

"That's right, we've got food, water, some coverings for our heads and walking sticks to help us out if we get tired." Yami smiled at how convenient this oasis had turned out to be. It had everything they needed.

"Great! All done!" Strapping his pack to his back Joey stood and gave a thumbs up to Yami. "All ready to get this Wilderness Survival Trip a full go?"

"Ready when you are, Joey."

Together the two friends started their trek through the desert and walked almost cinema style into the direction of the rising sun. They were headed for home!

* * *

Shaadi had come to get Yugi later and presented him with a pack and a Tristan. He had mentioned something about taking them to the nearest populated town so that they could get a ride home. They had been walking for about an hour now outside of the town.

"How far away is the next city?" Yugi munched on a biscuit.

"About a few days walk if you keep going from here." Shaadi held a hand over his eyes as he peered at the horizon.

"A few days?" Tristan grumbled and tried to stretch out the kinks in his back. It was a pain sleeping on the hard ground. "Couldn't you get us a ride or something?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot." Shaadi simply walked foreword and waited for the two tag-a-longs to follow. "But I will keep a lookout for your friends after you all are safely off."

"That's good to know and at least with you guiding us there it won't be so bad." Yugi smiled.

"I'm sorry, but I won't be joining you." Shaadi said turning to place a compass in Yugi's hand. "Travel north and you're bound to run into a river. Follow the river and you're bound to hit a city."

"What?" Tristan exclaimed. "You've got to be kidding!"

"I do hope you have a good trip." Shaadi waved. "This is as far as I go."

Tristan and Yugi watched as Shaadi sunk into the sand with his magic and disappear from sight. One of these days he'd have to get Shaadi to tell them all how he did that with his items. He was pretty sure it would come in handy. Like now when he needed a quick trip home! Yugi looked down at the old compass in his hand.

"At least he gave us directions and some supplies." Tristan stuck his arms behind his head.

"But he didn't give us a compass that works! All directions are pointing North!" Yugi threw the thing into the ground.

"Well, damn."

* * *

Ryou Bakura realized this was stupid from the start but realized he was washed away with the tide and could do nothing to stop his crazed counterpart. "We are so going to get caught."

"Oh relax, I'm not even stealing one of the big ones. All we have to do is wait for the pilots to leave and then steal the thing." Bakura threw a rock up as he sat down next to a trash can. They'd been waiting for night to fall for a few hours now.

"Do you even know how to fly a plane?"

"It can't be that hard." Bakura shrugged.

"I take it back, we're not getting caught."

"That sounds better." Bakura slapped an arm around his landlord.

"We're going to crash and die. Again!" Ryou slapped the arm off.

"Jeesh, is it that time of the month or something?" Bakura rubbed his arm.

"I'm not a girl! Mmmph!" Ryou struggled when Bakura slammed a hand over his mouth.

"Not so loud you idiot. We really will get caught." The thief slowly removed his hand.

"You didn't have to do it so hard, you know." Ryou looked up. "Hey, that pilot just left his plane and it's still running I think."

"Well, well. Good eyes! What a stroke of luck." Bakura jumped up and grabbed Ryou's arm. "Let's go before he comes back or turns around."

"What have I done!"

* * *

"Why haven't we found him yet!" Mokuba slammed the back of the seat of Loyal Employee Number 2. "We've been searching for a week!"

"More like two days, sir." Number 3 corrected while leaning back in her seat.

"Whatever! It feels like it's been years since I've seen my brother!"

"Sir, maybe we could head to the nearest airport and restock before we continued searching? We may be more effective if we have all our wits about us?" Number 4 tried desperately to keep his voice even. Ten more minutes with this kid and he was crashing the plane himself.

"No!" Mokuba refused. "Finding Seto is out number one priority over comfort and necessities!"

The collective groan from his subordinates did nothing for Mokuba's mood. Why on earth were they not trying harder to find his big brother? Did they not care? Well, he wasn't going to let anything stand in his way. _I'm coming Seto!_

* * *

"I'm starting to feel sorry for the squirt." Celtic Guardian leaned foreword on his chair as he watched the events unfolding. "Poor kid. At least our Pharaoh and his pet are getting along well."

"Did you just call Joey a pet?" FlamesSwordsman jumped up.

"Yup, Kaiba's got the right idea calling him a mutt." Celtic smiled.

"Hey, hey." Dark Magician separated the two. "None of that now."

"Fine." The other two groaned together.


	8. Help Sucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and sorry its late.

Eventually, Téa had no choice but to start listening to the things Kaiba was saying. It was sort of interesting, especially when he started going on about the rules of life and some fun embarrassing stories about himself. Heatstroke had never been so entertaining.

The problem she found, was when he started going into the technical details of holograms and machines that can think well enough to create strategies and fight as competent duelists. "Kaiba, I don't have a clue as to what you're talking about."

"No! It's really simple." Kaiba slammed his hand into the sand. He'd been calmly explaining it as if she was a kindergartner but she just didn't get it. "You just have to connect the circuits to the…"

"Enough." Téa interrupted. "I don't care. I just want to sit in this little section of shade and enjoy the break from the sun. Stop talking technical nonsense."

"It's not nonsense." Kaiba mumbled before leaning back and closing his eyes. "It was convenient of us to find this little oasis, wasn't it? But I have to wonder who made this huge mess."

"Who cares?" Téa sighed. "They're not here now. And that's the problem."

"Ah." Kaiba decided to continue where he'd left off. "So anyway, if you connect the circuit at that point than it's complete."

"Hey, what's that?" Téa squinted to try and get a better look at the black speck that had appeared in the sunlight.

"Looks like one of my escape pods at work."

"You have escape pods at work?"

"Long story." Kaiba paused. "Stories."

Roland could have wept for joy. There, beneath a shredded palm tree was his beloved boss, Mr. Kaiba! And he was there with that brunette girl that could always be seen around Mr. Kaiba's rival and ever-so-short enemy, Yugi Mutoh. But, Mr. Kaiba was fine and well and that's all that mattered. All was right with the number one loyal employee's world. "I'm here, Mr. Kaiba!"

"I think it's going to crash into us." Téa looked up again. The black speck was getting bigger by the moment.

"I do believe you're right." Kaiba stood. "We should move."

"We should."

The black pod crashed in the center of the oasis making a very large indentation in the middle of the water. Kaiba and Téa watched as a man in a suit appeared from under the water and waded his way to the shore. From there, he proceeded to fall upon his knees and give praises to the Heaven's for delivering Mr. Kaiba safely from evil.

"He's one of yours, I take it?" Téa mumbled over the groveling.

"I'm not sure." Kaiba kicked the man. "Do I know you?"

"Mr. Kaiba! How could you!" Roland cried. And continued crying into the dirt. All was so very wrong in the world at the moment. How could Kaiba not recognize him? Had he lost his number one spot? Not, that couldn't be so! Roland continued to cry while he pondered this strange event.

Kaiba and Téa merely stared and wondered if that pod was fixable.

* * *

Joey and Yami tracked happily through the desert. Life was grand when you were on a Great Wilderness Survival Trip.

* * *

"I'm blaming your hair for our bad luck."

"If you don't stop it about my hair, I'm going to take a page out of Yami Bakura's book and kill you." Yugi muttered.

"I couldn't hear that over the raging sand storm above us." Tristan shouted.

"It's not my fault we hit a storm pocket!" Yugi couldn't understand his luck. How on earth did they get trapped under a bunch of rocks pretending to be shelter in the middle of a mini sandstorm! Life wasn't fair. "Stupid sand."

"I'm sure it's your fault." Tristan gripped his coat tighter around his shoulders. "Ra is mad because the reincarnation of his Pharaoh has summoned demon hair."

Yugi ignored him. Everything would be fine if he just ignored the idiotic brunette beside him. Really, it must be the desert and the heat getting to him. Normally Tristan was a good friend. Well, there was that one time where he abused him to get that Ribbon girl's attention. But that was in the past, it was forgivable.

"So, how are you getting us out of this?" Tristan paused. "Since it is all your fault."

Yugi decided when he next saw his Yami, which he would if it was the last thing he ever did, he was going to make a request for a one way ticket to the shadow realm for a certain spiky haired companion of theirs.

* * *

"I can not believe we got away with that."

"I sure can, my dear Landlord." Bakura smirked. "Who's the man?"

Ryou sighed and leant on the dashboard. "You're the man."

"Now," Bakura decided this was the perfect time to gloat. "Why am I the man?"

"You stole an airplane, learned to fly it, and got out of the airport without security in under an hour."

"And." The thief's tone expected nothing but the best of praise.

"And disabled the black box and tracking devices on the plane while in midair." Ryou's tone was placid and matter-of-fact.

"Thank-you."

The next hour or so in the air was fairly quiet for the white-haired duo. Though, something was bothering Ryou. He felt like he had forgotten something important. "Do you think we should go back for the others?"

"Not a chance in hell." Bakura snickered. "The Pharaoh can fry."

"So not even if I asked?" Ryou didn't think he would hurt to at least try. That way he could defend himself if this situation ever came up later.

"Not even if you asked." The thief looked out the window. "What country do you think we're over now?"

"I doubt we've even left Egypt yet." Ryou waited a beat. "You don't know where you're going, do you?"

"Minor details."

"We're going to die."

"Stop being such a pessimist."

Ryou got up out of his seat and headed towards the back. He needed something to do or he was going to lose his temper. And who knows, there might be something interesting in the cargo bay. Ryou took a few steps in the back before noticing a bunch of crates. He took a crow bar and opened one up to look. "Uh, Bakura."

"What is it, Landlord?" Bakura took a sneak peak towards his host in the back.

"I think we grabbed the wrong plane." Ryou dropped the lid and backed up towards the cockpit.

"And why is that?"

"Those boxes are full of jewelry and raw gemstones."

Bakura blinked. "And why is that a bad thing?"

"The Tommy Guns next to them. And the similar engravings on all of the boxes." Ryou dropped into his seat. "You don't think we stole a mafia plane do you?"

"You've got an ancient evil spirit who can devour and steal souls, as well as summon monsters and banish people to a realm of shadows sitting next to you, and you're worried about a few gang members?"

"When you put it that way." Ryou turned to the back. "I claim dibs on the diamonds."

"Damn it!"

* * *

In the meantime, Mokuba was still becoming a Loyal Employee Slave Driver first class as the group flew and got lost over the desert.

Employees 2, 3, and 4 were considering ways they could convince Kaiba to give them time off if they ever found him. And Number 2 had rediscovered her emergency liquor stash. She was the envy of the other two.

"Keep looking!" Mokuba shouted.

In short, not much has changed.

* * *

"Dude, look at them go." Dark Magician stared at the viewing portal. "That's my Pharaoh!"

"Stop bragging." Lady of Faith argued. "Our boys are doing just fine as well!"

Flame Swordsman laughed. "Yeah, but my boy Joey and Yami are making tracks on their own! So you better watch out."

Kuriboh shouted and flailed in the air. The nerve of them, he was trying to watch what was happening to Yugi and Tristan.

"Sorry."


	9. Missing You.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated because You-Know-Who's been bugging me about it.

"Mr. Kaiba!" Roland cried. He knelt down on his knees and continued to go on about how much he missed the man and what a good lackey he was for caring. "I was so worried about you!"

"That's nice." Kaiba rolled the pod over on its side in the water and examined the door. A few hinges were missing but that was nothing he couldn't deal with.

"Is he ever going to shut up?" Téa kicked Roland in the side. It was too hot to deal with all this Kaiba worship going around. The girl leaned over to get a better look as Kaiba tinkered waist deep in the water. His shirt stuck to his body and she made a note to look away. Jerk or not, he was pretty cute.

"Roland, shut up or you're fired." Kaiba paused. "Again."

Roland sighed and sat down in the sand. It would seem that things were back to normal and it was best to regain his professional composure. That little outburst should have never happened in the first place. "Yes, sir."

Now that there was quiet and she had composed herself, Téa walked over to Kaiba who was dragging the floating thing out of the water and onto the edge of the beach. "How's it look?"

Kaiba took a long look at the pod and hummed to himself. "I can work with it."

"Good enough for me." Téa brushed a bit of sweat off of her brow before looking back towards the desert. "How long?"

"Maybe an hour, two." Kaiba yanked a piece of rock out of the side of the tube and threw it over his shoulder. Ignoring Roland's outcry, he set the machine upright. "Depends on how much fuel and how damaged it was when the idiot crashed it."

"It's not like I meant to." Roland mumbled to himself.

"What was that?"

"Nothing Mr. Kaiba, Sir!"

"That's what I thought." Kaiba brushed a bit of sand from his shirt as it blew towards him. "Hand me something to pry this open with."

"Kay." Téa handed a stick over to the other man and then sat down in the sand. Nothing much to do now but watch him work.

* * *

"It was so nice of that guy to give us a ride, don't you think, Yami?"

"Yes, it was rather convenient if I do say so myself."

"We'll be home in no time!"

"I do believe you're right, Joey."

"Let's go!"

* * *

"Are those frogs?"

Yugi cursed his existence when he looked down at a huge number of frogs. Now things were just starting to get weird on them. "But Tristan, didn't we just deal with a bunch of lice? And before that it was the flies!"

Tristan kicked frogs out of the way best he could as they trekked onward. "It seems to me like we're getting hit with the ten plagues."

Yugi paused as Tristan began scratching himself on the neck. It looked like he had gotten a small hive just below his hairline, but there was no way. It had to be a sunburn or something. "But why would we be plagued by plagues! It makes no sense!"

"Well, Yami was a pharaoh…and you are his reincarnation, right?" Tristan poked Yugi in the head and willed his neck to stop itching. "It's your demon hair and evil ruling-class ancestry that's brought this upon us."

"What did I tell you about picking on my hair?" Yugi yelled and stomped his foot in the sand. He growled and yanked his foot out when it dipped down farther than he would have liked. He didn't have to put up with this. "I'm going on by myself. You deal with it."

"Hey!" Tristan started to run after his shorter companion. "Don't leave me all alone over here!"

Yugi kept walking. He wanted a shower, he wanted some food, and he wanted his Yami. He wanted his Yami most of all because then he could send Tristan to the shadow realm and be done with it. Yes, Tristan cornered by all those duel monsters in the shadows. The thought made Yugi smile.

"Hey, all the frogs are gone now." Tristan rubbed his own hair and trotted behind Yugi. These weird occurrences were rather random and unrealistic if you asked him. Much like his friend's hair. Which he still blamed for everything.

"We have a bigger problem."

"You hair is still summoning evil things?"

"No." Yugi pointed straight ahead. "Locusts."

"I think I'll take my luck with the frogs if you don't mind." Tristan swallowed and turned quickly to find himself face to face with not a mountain of frogs, but very dark clouds. "Is that a hailstorm?"

Yugi refused to turn around. He just wouldn't see it and everything would be okay. However, if it was the plagues hitting, then Yugi still had one good thought in his head. "Hey, Tristan."

"What?" Tristan backed up into his friend and checked both sides to see if someone had left them an exit.

"Are you the first born in your family?"

"Huh? Yeah, why?"

Yugi smiled again. "No reason."

* * *

"I think we're over China, Bakura." Ryou looked out the window of the small plane and noticed the very large stone bridge spanning across the plains.

"So, we're almost there, then?" Bakura yawned and settled back into his seat. "I'm getting sleepy."

"I'm surprised we haven't been told to land in the past hours." Ryou crossed his arms and admired a ring from the back box he had put on. He had spent at least two hours sorting the goods from weapons and jewelry. "You'd think we would have interrupted someone's air space by now."

"Whatever." Bakura took a look in the back to see the crates open and stuff scattered about. "Like I care, but did you really have to make such a mess?"

"Oh, like you would have been any neater about it." Ryou giggled. "I just couldn't help myself."

"How are we going to hide all of that stuff anyway." Bakura pondered. His thief instincts had started to click in and his priority at the moment was not to go to jail. "We may not have stolen it, but you know someone else did."

"I hadn't thought about that." Ryou blinked. "Maybe we could put it all back in the boxes like it was originally?"

"Or we could hide it on the plane and retrieve it later."

"Speaking of later," Ryou gazed out the window again and yawned a bit. "Where are we going to land this thing?"

"Oh." Bakura grimaced. "I hadn't thought about that."

"Perfect." Ryou laughed. "Just, perfect."

"Shut up."

* * *

"Can't we just knock him out and fly home?"

"We'd get caught and fired."

"At this point." Loyal Employee Number 4 sighed, "It might be worth it."

Number 2 pondered this statement and looked up at Mokuba who was still yelling at nothing. They had stopped listening to the younger Kaiba about four hours ago when they landed the plane for emergency refueling. Mokuba had complained it was four hours of wasted time, but no one was flying when the pilot was about to fall asleep. After one more curse about their worthless-ness, Number 2 made up her mind.

Mokuba never knew what hit him when the liquor bottle hit the back of his neck. The only thing he thought in the moment was "Damn. Not again!"

The three Loyal Employees decided to think of good reasons to justify their actions while going out for some decent drinks. What could it hurt to leave the boy unconscious for a few hours?

* * *

The Dark Magician yawned a little as he watched the groups as they dealt with their little dessert scenario. "It's not as interesting when things actually go their way."

"Yeah," Celtic Guardian continued pestering Kuriboh as it whined for his poor, poor master stuck with that weird haired kid. "At least they're sort of okay."

"I want to know where those plagues are coming from." The Dark Magician poked the viewing portal a bit as Yugi swatted another locust away from himself.

"Um," The Dark Magician Girl coughed. "That was me."

"You?" The FlameSwordsmen looked over his shoulder. "Why would you do that?"

"It was an accident?" She coughed. "I tried to make it rain, but read the wrong spell."

"Why don't we put a stop to that then." The Dark Magician smiled a bit. It was cute when she made mistakes. "Where's the spell you used?"

"I lost it."

"Oh," The Dark Magician looked back down at his master. "Never mind then."


	10. Are we there yet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random update! Yay? I'm pretty sure people are still reading this, or at least looking at it. The story should be wrapping up soon though. Maybe in three or four chapters.

"As always I'm impressed by your amazing skills, Master Kaiba!" Roland put his brown-nosing skills to use as Kaiba wiped his brow and stepped away from his handy work. His boss had fixed up the pod and somehow managed to make coconut oil do things it shouldn't normally be able to do in under five hours.

"Just shut up and help me lift it out of the water." Kaiba paused and waited for the giant blob of muscle to get up out of the sand.

Téa was on the verge of deciding if Kaiba was a genius or insane. On the one hand, he did seem to know what he was doing and looked as if he fixed their only means of escaping the desert. On the other, he had done all of the work with the pod still in the water. Téa may have been a dancer, but she knew that water and electronics didn't usually mix. "Are you sure you did that right?"

"Of course." Kaiba huffed. Spending all that time in the cool water had finally cooled his head and he could think clearly. The time he spent with the brunette chick before Roland got there was a blur in his mind, but he didn't let that bother him. "If you don't trust it, you can just stay here."

"No, I'm coming." Téa shrugged. "Better a flashy death than starving, right?"

"Have more confidence in Master Kaiba!" Roland thrust an accusing finger at the brat child. How dare she question the boss? Who knew what Master Kaiba saw in her, but she must be something special if she was still here. "If he says he fixed it, then it's fixed."

"Fine, whatever." She rolled her eyes and walked over to the pod now resting on the land. It was a few feet taller than Roland and seemed spacious. But there was only one seat. "Are we all going to fit in this?"

"Sure." Roland smiled and nodded. How could it not fit all of them? It was deigned for rescue. "It'll just be a little tight."

Kaiba visibly twitched. "So what you're saying, is I have to sit on your lap?"

"Well, the lady sits on yours." Roland nodded happily at his new plan to appease Kaiba. He would be killed for sure, or abandoned if Kaiba was going to have to touch him in any way. "I can stand behind the chair. Plenty of room."

"Still not good enough." The president of Kaiba Corp did not share a chair with a follower of that little brat Yugi. No way.

Téa was hot, tired and past the point of caring whether or not the pod would work or explode. So she did the logical thing: took over. "Roland, get in the back. Kaiba just sit your butt in the seat and stop complaining."

"You don't order me around." Kaiba would have continued but he was shoved into the chair by a pair of girly hands. He let out an 'umph' when he slammed into Roland's chest. The bodyguard had already obeyed that witch's command. Oh, he was getting a pay cut.

Téa sat herself down neatly on one of Kaiba's knees and shut the door. "Make it work."

The CEO growled but decided to just put up with the situation for now. He shoved at her a little bit so she was farther down the leg and not so close to his person. The young CEO added this to his mental reasons for killing Yugi and all of his little friends. "Fine. Hold on."

Kaiba filled in the values for take off quietly while still managing to grumble under his breath. Téa waited patiently while he did these things and sighed when it took what seemed like forever. After that was completed he pressed the ignition.

The engine purred nicely for a bit until a loud bang could be heard from the back and a puff of smoke entering the cockpit.

Téa coughed as Kaiba waved his hands to clear the smoke. She smacked the side of the container and should have known it wouldn't work.

Roland stayed quiet standing behind the seat and merely sighed. "At least the engine turned on."

"Shut up."

* * *

"Hey Yami, do you think we should take the North road or the South?"

"We're going East, Joey."

"Oh, right. Heh."

* * *

The plagues had let Yugi down. Tristan was still alive and the curse of the first born never made an appearance. In retrospect, and taking into consideration that he was also the first born, Yugi decided it was probably a good thing.

"Which way do you think we should go?" Tristan held a hand up to block the setting sunlight.

"It doesn't really matter." Yugi yelled, stomped his foot and felt his hair wave from the force. "It's the same set of freaking sand in all directions!"

"Jeesh, calm down." Tristan frowned at his little buddy. Yugi looked like he was ready to attack something. "You're really irritating when your Yami isn't around, aren't you?"

Yugi stared Tristan down and considered things that he could do if his Yami was around. "I'm irritating?"

"Yeah, you've only complained and not helped since we got into this situation."

"This coming from someone who called my hair demonic?" Yugi clenched his fists.

"I just called it like it is."

Yugi started walking. If he walked fast enough Tristan would get lost behind him and he'd never have to deal with him again. "Then go by yourself! Bye!"

"Hey! Wait up!" Tristan trotted after his now fast paced friend. "You don't have to get so huffy about it."

Yugi clutched his hair and for the first time really, really wished he were bigger. Or knew how to fight. Beating Tristan up brought a tiny smile to his face.

"Hey, I'm sorry. Okay?" Tristan stuck his hands in his pockets and averted his eyes. "You're taking stuff way too seriously."

Yugi sighed. Tristan just _had_ to apologize and remind Yugi that they were indeed friends. It wasn't completely fair to blame him. It's not his fault the heat and situation were making them all irritable. "It's okay."

"Hey!" Tristan pointed. "Isn't that the village where we saw Shaadi?"

Yugi didn't look up. If he looked up he would realize that they had merely walked in a big circle. Yugi plopped down into the sand and pet his puzzle. He hoped the others were doing better with their little quests.

"Hey, at least they have food and water, right?"

"Sure. Bright side." Yugi mumbled and forced himself to his feet to follow Tristan as they approached the ruins.

This time, he was pulling some serious authority over Shaadi's tail. The pharaoh was tired and pissed off.

* * *

"Are we over Japan yet?" Bakura groaned. He was stiff and sore and Ryou wasn't answering him. He looked over to snap at the boy for ignoring his precious Yami when he realized something vital: Ryou was sleeping. "Oi, wake up."

Ryou mumbled something incoherent and rolled into the seat. Bakura rolled his eyes and looked out the window. He'd give Ryou five minutes and then kick his ass out of the plane if he didn't get up. Bakura was positive the pressure change alone in the back should wake the brat up. At the very least it would make the trip more interesting.

A second look out the window told Bakura he was still over an ocean of some sort. Ah well, he'd bug Ryou when they could see land.

"Pass the biscuits."

Bakura looked over when Ryou started mumbling in his sleep. It was sort of cute with Ryou all curled up in a ball and clinging to a diamond necklace.

The thief knocked him in the head hard enough to push the boy out of the seat. And then he laughed at the cursing and shout of "Bakura!"

* * *

"We're so going to get fired." Number 3 mumbled to himself as he paced back and forth in the cockpit. He was thankful the autopilot allowed him this chance to get some nervousness out of his system.

"Shut up and just keep this thing heading for home." Number 2 griped as she made sure Mokuba was propped properly on the back seat cushions. She put a large, fuzzy blanket over him for good measure. He was a little brat, but she didn't' hate him.

"What are we going to do if we come back without Master Kaiba?" Number 4 turned a bit from his co-pilot seat to see his superiors.

"Easy, we contact Roland and let him worry about it." Number 2 shrugged. "Kaiba's his responsibility anyway."

"Roger that."

Number 2 settled back in her seat and closed her eyes. A good nap sounded perfect right about now. And it was finally quiet enough to enjoy one.

* * *

"Cut it pretty close there with the plagues, didn't you?" Celtic Guardian snickered at the Dark Magician and the Dark Magician Girl's ruffled appearances. They had searched an entire library of spells looking for the right one and they were now exhausted. "We would have been short one mini-Pharaoh."

"Too tired to respond. Tell me if anything good happens." Dark Magician leaned his head down to join his assistant in a nap.

"Sure thing."

Kuriboh mewed in agreement as it watched the little troupes heading home in the portals.


	11. Well. That was something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A certain someone wanted to know why this hadn't been updated. So, this is for him! You know who you are. In any case – there's only one more chapter so be sure to tune in for the fun conclusion of the gang's desert escapades.
> 
> I love YuGiOh! I really do. –hearts- Yami – hearts-

"I can't believe I had forgotten about that thing."

"Shut up, Roland." Kaiba shoved himself as far down in the plane seat as he could go. All he wanted was to sleep. Was that so much to ask? "If you mention it again I'm firing you. Permanently this time."

"Shutting up, sir." Roland took that as his cue to take a nap himself. He was just grateful that Kaiba was too tired to press the issue any farther. Forgetting something like that would otherwise have been unforgivable!

Téa rolled her eyes from her own seat in the plane and pulled out a magazine from the rack in the back of the other chair. Right after the engine had gone 'poof' Kaiba literally threw a hissy fit. He smashed at the controls, cursed and quite rudely knocked Téa onto the floor. However, he hit a stroke of luck and somehow activated a homing beacon and radio in his little fit of rage. Two hours later, they found themselves on a rescue Jet from Kaiba Corp's Egypt branch. They were on a straight bee line for Japan and Téa was just happy Kaiba was too out of it to notice she had gotten on the plane as well.

As Téa looked at the eccentric millionaire as he attempted to sleep, Téa couldn't help but think she was forgetting something important. Ah well, whatever it was she would sure to work it out later. Anything was better than being trapped in that damn desert.

* * *

"What a nice nap." Ryou stretched out his arms in the plush wide seat and felt like he had just slept on a cloud. Wait. "Since when did that dinky plane have plush seats?"

As Ryou looked around he realized that he was neither in the pilot's cockpit nor was he in a hard seat. Instead, he found himself sitting in a opulent, wide plane chair that would make most first class sections seem like cheap coach bucket seats. He also found the rest of the seats in the plane to be filled with jewels, gold, silver, and other valuable items. Including paintings? "BAKURA!"

Bakura whistled to himself as he heard the tell-tale signs of his landlord tripping over stolen goods trying to make his way to the front of the plane. It was only a moment before the door to the cockpit burst open and his angry host made his way to his side. "Morning, sleepy Landlord. Have a nice nap?"

"Don't you morning me!" Ryou growled and sat in the co-pilot's seat. He turned on his glaring ability to full power. It went up another notch when Bakura continued to ignore him. "Where did all that stuff come from and more importantly, where did this plane come from?"

Bakura shrugged. "Well, you just looked so content asleep I didn't dare wake you. Turns out we were going in the wrong direction and we ran out of gas in London. You're very heavy, by the way."

Ryou blinked and opened the back door again to look at all the treasures. A certain very familiar was-once-in-the-tower-of-London crown was sparkling at him. "You didn't."

"I did."

"I." Ryou held his head for a moment. And then he narrowed his eyes. "You went in the wrong direction on purpose, didn't you?"

"Maybe."

"What on earth were you thinking! We're going to get caught!"

"Hey, hey." Bakura turned towards his landlord and pouted. "I managed to steal the things and keep you knocked out the whole time in the first place, didn't I?"

"But those, those." Ryou took a seat in the chair and buried his head in his arms. "We're doomed."

"Oh get over yourself. I'm the King of Thieves." Bakura reached over and fluffed Ryou's hair. "We're not getting caught and I'm keeping 'em. It's been forever since I pulled off such a big job so flawlessly."

"How close are we to Japan?"

Bakura took the change of subject as an acceptance of the inevitable. Which was good. Because there really was no way Bakura was returning anything. That's how idiots got caught in the first place. "A few hours."

"I'm going to go stare at the priceless artifacts and tell myself you know what you're doing." Ryou stood up and tried to convince himself that he wasn't just a tad impressed at the thief's skills. Or giddy at the fact he got to play with the crown jewels.

"You must have a selective memory." Bakura shrugged again and looked at the little blinking lights on his panel. He sure hoped he was reading those things right. "Worse comes to worse I can banish their souls to the shadow realm."

"I try to forget that fact." Ryou picked up one of scepters and fell back into one of the comfortable seats. He put the crown on his head just for kicks. If he was gonna' get caught, he was going down in style. "Just fly the plane. I want to go home."

"Ha!" Bakura laughed. "Such a fun trip."

Ryou tilted his head to the side as he took a good look around the cabin. Seems Bakura also kept the goods from the other plane. He tried not to think too hard about how the thief possibly pulled that off without any help. But, there was one thing bugging him. "Hey, Bakura."

"Yes, Landlord?"

"Where are we going to park this plane, anyway?"

Bakura stared outside the plane window at the clouds. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there."

Ryou prepared himself for jail time. If he was lucky, they'd get a break due to insanity.

* * *

Numbers 2, 3 and 4 had never been so relaxed as when they found out that Master Kaiba had been located and was safely tucked away on a company plane. In the excitement, Mokuba had even forgotten that his staff had attacked him in the first place.

Number 2 smiled to herself as the young Kaiba bounced around the cabin shouted about how he couldn't wait to get home. She leaned forward in her seat to talk to the two pilots. "Remind me to give Roland a kiss for getting us out of this mess."

"Hell, I could kiss him at this point." Number 4 laughed.

"Big Brother Seto's alright!" Mokuba was happy. And in only six to seven hours he could see him.

* * *

"I can't believe how fast we got back to Japan, Yami." Joey laughed as he hitched his bag up higher on his shoulder. It was real nice of that one lady in Greece to sew it for him.

"I agree, Joey." Yami laughed and rubbed his nose. He fixed the Italian leather jacket to a tad more snug fit onto his shoulders. It was amazing what deals you could get when you gamble the price down with card games. "It was quite the survival trip."

"Best one ever!" Joey jumped up the steps to the game shop. "We should totally do that again, sometime."

"I agree. It's not often that we get to spend time together, is it?" Yami smiled. He couldn't remember the last time that he'd gotten so much exercise and had so much fun all at the same time. His favorite bit though had to be the boat ride from Korea to Japan. It was surprisingly relaxing for a trading ship.

"Hey! Grandpa, you home?" Joey shouted as he entered the store. He set his pack down on the ground. Yami came into the store behind him and shut the door.

"Well, hello." Grandpa said as he came out from the back. "You guys were gone for quite some time. I was almost getting worried."

"Nah, we totally had it covered." Joey threw an arm around Yami and gave a thumbs up. "You're looking at two very tough wilderness survivors."

Grandpa laughed at the happy faces. They were dirty, but they were smiling. "That must have been some trip, you two. Did you have fun?"

"Yes, it was quite enjoyable." Yami matched Grandpa's smile. "We crossed the desert, relaxed in an oasis, crossed the Mediterranean, most of Asia and crossed oceans. All in all, it was an eventful trip."

"Well, I'm glad. I hope you boy's will tell me all about it in detail. Don't want to miss a thing." Grandpa looked around the two young boys. He would assume that the others would have gone to their own homes, but that still left one question. "Where's Yugi?"

Both Yami and Joey froze. Joey swallowed before letting out a nervous chuckle. "Knew there was something I was forgetting."

"How could I forget Yugi! I'm a horrible partner!" Yami moaned and grabbed his head. This was a worst case scenario! "Come on, Joey! We need to go get him!"

"Huh? Yeowch! Easy on the arm!" Joey yelled as Yami clamped onto his arm and yanked him out of the store. It seemed their survival trip was back on track.

* * *

Celtic Guardian yawned a bit as he watched the events coming to an end. He was upset that he lost the bet. "I can't believe the Pharaoh and his little puppy got to Japan first. That's just disturbing."

"Oh shut up and pay up!" Flame Swordsman grinned as he held his hand out. He totally called it.

"If you think that's bad, I can't believe Bakura actually pulled that job off while keeping Ryou unconscious." Lady of Faith grimaced as she handed the money to Dark Necrofear. The demon doll smiled and she frowned. "No, I'm not betting on whether or not they escape jail time."

While the monsters on the sidelines bickered with one another over bets, the Dark Magician Girl was staring down at the portal. "Hey, Dark Magician."

"Yes?" Dark Magician looked up from his game of checkers with Kuriboh and down at the portal. "What is it?"

"Can you tell what the little master is doing?" She pointed down at the portal to a tiny spot in the desert. "His friend seems to be okay, but the little Master keeps holding his knees and rocking."

"I think he's calling for the Pharaoh."

"Oh."

Dark Magician looked closer and squinted. Casting a small spell to hear better, he came to a conclusion. "Definitely repeating 'I want Yami' over and over again. And something about banishing everyone to the shadow realm."

"Fun." Dark Magician Girl wondered if she could get any popcorn before Yugi actually snapped.


	12. And so we leave them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And...it's done! Ha; well this was fun. And a certain someone can stop bugging me for updates. Have fun and thanks for reading this bit of randomness with the YuGiOh! crew!

"I'm going to my office and I don't want to be disturbed." Kaiba snapped as he walked off of the plane and towards his personal car. It had been a long plane ride and all he wanted was to be in his big plush office chair and to take a nap to the comforting buzz of his computer. Roland was trailing behind him muttering apologies and 'of course sir' along with 'I'll arrange that sir.' Kaiba rubbed his temples and only hoped that Mokuba would behave when he saw him.

"Big Brother!"

That would apparently not be the case. Kaiba forced a smile. "Hello Mokuba."

"I was so worried about you!" Mokuba cried as he tackled his older brother. He barely remembered getting back because he fell asleep on the plane but that was okay! "We were looking all over the desert for you!"

"You were what?" Kaiba lifted an eyebrow at Numbers 2, 3, and 4 who were now grimacing and smacking their heads. He'd fire them for such insubordination as to let his brother wander through a desert, but if they had been baby-sitting him that long alone than they had probably already been punished enough. "Never mind."

"Hmm? Are you hungry, Seto? Let's get something to eat!"

"Sure." Kaiba nodded and started walking towards his car again. Maybe this time he'd make it to where he wanted to go without things getting in his way and causing unecessary flaws in his plans.

Téa in the meantime, was walking off the plane stretching her arms over her head. She made a face when she caught the smell of sand, sweat and Kaiba. "Man, I'd kill for a bath."

"That can be arranged immediately, Madam."

"Huh?" Téa looked to her side at a random servant bowing at her. The woman was young and had the look of a 'yes man' about her. She had the Kaiba Corp Logo stitched to her uniform. The brunette hesitated a response. "Can it?"

"Of course, we had a separate car prepared when we were notified of your presence on the plane. Your personal room at Kaiba Corp has been set up and is waiting for your arrival." Number 8 clicked open her cell phone and typed a quick text message. "Your bath is being drawn as we speak."

Téa blinked. As nice as all this sounded, she was suspicious. Kaiba wasn't that nice. He probably didn't even know she got on the plane, or if he did he was ignoring her. Her eyes shifted towards Kaiba and his brother who were heading towards the limo with Roland. Granted, if the price was right... "How much is that going to cost?"

"Nothing, of course." Number 8 smiled sweetly. "We'd never dream of charging Mr. Kaiba's girlfriend for anything."

 _Girlfriend?_ Téa's mind was screaming at her. That was so, so very wrong. her and Kaiba? No Way! But, then again. A bath, a room, and possibly... "Does that include room service?"

"Name it and we'll get it."

Well, maybe she'd let this mistake go for as long as she could milk it. She deserved it for putting up with that bastard for so long in the wilderness. As long as she excused herself in a timely fashion, Kaiba might not even know she was leaching his stuff; or better yet he might not care. "I want steak, medium rare. And a sundae waiting for me after my bath."

"Of course, Ma'am."

"And a new outfit."

"Naturally."

"And some mints."

"Done."

Téa could get used to this.

Kaiba tried to ignore the sudden shivers going down his back.

* * *

"I can't believe no one's noticed the plane in our yard."

"It's the apartment complex's yard."

"You'd think the superintendent would say something about it..."

"It's hard to do that from the shadow realm."

"Why is he there?"

"He wasn't going to let me park the plane."

"I don't remember that."

"You were sleeping."

Ryou was about to give some retort but stopped himself and smacked his face. "You know what." Ryou rubbed his eyes and walked into his apartment (while still wearing the crown). "I'm taking a shower and a nap."

Bakura smirked and stared down at his bounty. As soon as Landlord was inside the room he stuck his hand out and summoned a swarm of shadows. The plane on the lawn was just a joke; he wasn't stupid enough to keep that kind of hot item in plain sight. A quick trip to the shadow realm insured the safety and easy access of his spoils. Though, something was bugging him. As Bakura followed his Landlord by going into the apartment, he said what was on his mind. "Do you think we forgot anything?"

Ryou played with the crown in his hands before setting it on a table. It probably wouldn't be wise to take that into the shower with him. "Setting up good alibi?"

"No, something else." Bakura rubbed his chin. He wanted to say it had something to do with the Pharaoh; but Bakura didn't care much what happened to that jerk. "Something not quite important, but will come back later."

"We were lost in the desert, we stole a plane, we stole another plane and the crown jewels and landed said plane in my front yard." Ryou spoke plainly. "At this point, I rather don't care."

"Sounds good to me." Bakura plopped down onto the couch and turned on the TV as his landlord disappeared into the back and the sound of running water filled the apartment.

* * *

"Yugi! Where are you! I swear if you answer I'll never leave you again!" Yami cried mournfully into the desert. It hadn't taken them long to get back where they started, only this time he and Joey were decked out with proper food, supplies, and survival experience. If only his success as a wilderness survivor could help appease the overwhelming guilt at forgetting the most important person in his life. "Oh, Joey! I'm a horrible person! How could I forget my partner!?"

"Chill." Joey laughed nervously. Yami was going nuts on him; sure he was worried about Yugi too, but this was a bit extreme. "We had sunstroke, or something. It was a natural thing to do..." Joey trailed off as he adjusted his headpiece. Proper head-cover was essential when traveling a desert in hot conditions. He pulled the camels' reigns and followed behind Yami. They were taking this time to walk while their steeds took a quick break. "We'll find um' So don't worry."

"How can I not worry? He's out there all alone! I forgot him! I'll never forgive myself..."

Joey rolled his eyes as Yami went on and on about Yugi. He shook his head and huffed. Those two were joined at the hip or something. Ah well, only thing he could do was to help out. "Yugi! Get out here you little squirt!"

"YUGI! I'm sorry!" Yami cried throughout the desert. "The moment I find you I'll make it all right again! I promise."

Joey smiled. "Well, at least we've got practice this time around."

The two friends continued their desert search for the lost Yugi, tan capes and head pieces flipping in the wind while camels trailed behind slowly.

* * *

"Poor Pharaoh." The Dark Magician sighed softly to himself as he stared through the portal. The bets were long done and over with, but he still worried. "I wish I could help them find the little Master."

"Me too." Dark Magician Girl nodded. "Maybe he'll remember he can summon us and then we can teleport him there or something."

"Yes, hopefully he remembers that at some point in his pity-party." Dark Magician smiled softly at his assistant before feeling something against his leg. Looking down, he spotted Kuriboh. "What is on your head?"

Dark Magician Girl looked down as well. "It looks like a necklace."

"Where did you get that?"

Kuriboh bounced up and down and pointed back behind him. The two magicians looked up to see Bakura's monsters playing gleefully with stacks of jewelry, crowns, and other goods and what looked like...a plane?

"I love our Master!" Change of Heart spun around with rings adorning her fingers and a tiara on her head. "He always lets us play with the best toys."

Dark Necrofear laughed along as she watched the Celtic Guardian and Flame Swordsman start fake dueling with some decorative swords that were littered among the goods. She sat herself was wearing one of the nicer gemstone necklaces. All in all, it was a good haul for all.

"Wow." Dark Magician crossed his arms and stared at the others having fun. "Dark Magician Girl."

"Yes, Master?" The perky blonde had to tear her eyes from all the sparkling goods.

"Do you think that ring would look good on me?"

"Yes."

"Go hurry and get some before it's all claimed."

"Yes sir!"

Dark Magician knew it was good to be the boss. He looked back down and smiled as his Pharaoh continued his search. Times were good. Unless of course you were the little Master and his pointy haired friend.

* * *

"Is that what I think it is, Tristan?"

"Do you think it's Stonehenge?"

"Yes."

"Than, yes. Yes I do."

"Just checking." Yugi stared up at the giant rock pillars and green grassy hills that surrounded him. They were definitely standing in front of the famous historical and ancient site that was Stonehenge. Of England. "Tristan."

The brunette rubbed his head as he watched the sun setting over the hill and backlighting the giant rocks that stood before them. "Yeah, Yugi?"

"How did we get here?"

"I don't know."

"I want Yami."

"I blame your hair."

**The End**


End file.
